Du nouveau sur le thème «chasteté» : Visionnez cette vidéo sur YouTube

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Il est important de prendre en compte la durée (01:14:41s), le titre (Cuckolding & Chastity with Shy), et les observations mentionnées par l’auteur :« Aujourd’hui, nous plongeons tête la première dans le monde tabou du cocu avec timide. Nous explorerons les complexités psychologiques et émotionnelles de cette dynamique de relation grâce à une interview intime avec Shy – une «cocu» qui est dans une dynamique de cocu 24-7. Préparez-vous pour une conversation honnête et perspicace qui peut remettre en question votre compréhension de l’amour, de la sexualité et des limites des relations. Shy est également un entraîneur passionné de relation et d’intimité spécialisé dans le lien ouvert et le pli. Dans cet épisode, nous couvrons ce qu’est réellement le cocu réellement, les idées fausses courantes, le cuck idéal, les cages de chasteté, les relations féminines, la communication et le pli, les erreurs courantes dans le cocu, comment partager des fantasmes profonds et des plis avec votre partenaire, les distinctions entre les hotwifing et le cocu , et bien plus encore… liens invités: site Web (https://coachdress.com.au/) Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/coachtress/) Liens d’amour en évolution: site Web (https: //www.evolvingloveproject .com /) | Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/evolvingloveproject) | Sublack (https://evolvingloveproject.substack.com/) Ceci est un épisode public. Si vous souhaitez en discuter avec d’autres abonnés ou accéder à des épisodes bonus, visitez EvolvingLoveProject.substack.com/subscribe (https://evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=cta_2) ».

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En quoi la pratique de la chasteté peut-elle affecter la relation amoureuse entre deux personnes ?

La relation de couple peut être profondément affectée par la pratique de la chasteté. Elle peut améliorer la confiance et la communication en poussant les partenaires à expérimenter de nouvelles formes d’intimité. Pour certains couples, elle permet de découvrir une nouvelle complicité et excitation, en élargissant et enrichissant la sexualité. Bien gérée, la chasteté peut servir de moyen puissant pour approfondir les liens et explorer de nouvelles dimensions relationnelles.

L’homme face à la chasteté : suivez les étapes.

L’abstinence est une pratique courante chez de nombreux hommes. À l’heure actuelle, la chasteté se vit discrètement. Une section entière est consacrée à l’étude de la chasteté de l’homme dans ce dossier qui aborde le sujet de la chasteté de l’homme. Cela cache le fait que de nombreux hommes utilisent une cage de chasteté. Son sexe est entravé sous ses vêtements. Cet accessoire interdit à l’homme de se masturber. Ses décisions sexuelles sont contrôlées par un coach, et non par ses pulsions. Sans cet accessoire de chasteté, l’homme cède aisément à la masturbation. C’est une conduite tout à fait naturelle. L’homme est perpétuellement stimulé dans notre société moderne. En dépit de ses efforts, l’homme est entouré de sollicitations de la publicité, du cinéma, de la musique et autres. La seule option qu’il considère est de céder à une autorité supérieure qui prend en main son sexe et la rétention de sa semence. La chasteté est un moyen d’améliorer les performances et la réussite chez les hommes. Que ce soit pour un athlète, un étudiant ou un cadre, la contrainte des organes génitaux via un accessoire produit un état mental distinct de celui associé à la masturbation libre ou à la sexualité anarchique.

De quelle manière une cage de chasteté fonctionne-t-elle ?

Le principe de fonctionnement d’une cage de chasteté est relativement simple et basé sur une méthode de confinement sécurisée. Guide pour l’installation d’une cage de chasteté : L’anneau de base est d’abord placé autour de la base du pénis et derrière les testicules. Le tube est placé sur le pénis et ensuite inséré à l’intérieur de la cage. Sécurisation du système : Les tiges de connexion, insérées une fois le tube en place, relient l’anneau de base à la cage. Le dispositif est sécurisé en utilisant le verrou. Le verrou assure que la cage reste bien en place et ne peut être retirée que si la clé est utilisée pour la déverrouiller.

Comment évaluer la taille convenable pour une cage de chasteté ?

Le port d’une ceinture de chasteté nécessite de prendre plusieurs précautions. Il est crucial de maintenir une hygiène rigoureuse pour prévenir les infections. La cage doit être ôtée régulièrement pour s’assurer de l’état de la peau et pour un nettoyage intégral. La communication avec le coach, dont l’expérience permet d’anticiper les évolutions, est essentielle pour s’assurer que cette pratique se déroule dans de bonnes conditions.

Pourquoi opter pour une ceinture ou une cage de chasteté ?

Les motivations pour porter une ceinture de chasteté sont nombreuses. Elle peut aider certains à renforcer leur discipline et à contrôler les aspects de la sexualité masculine (érection, masturbation, etc.). Ce dispositif peut accentuer l’excitation au sein de relations sexuelles de domination. Elle peut être perçue comme un moyen de protection contre l’infidélité physique, renforçant ainsi la fidélité au sein du couple. Elle est parfois utilisée comme un jeu, où la contrainte et l’attente renforcent l’excitation et le désir.

Quels sont les composants d’une cage de chasteté ?

Une cage de chasteté est un appareil conçu pour limiter l’accès au pénis, souvent utilisé dans des pratiques de contrôle du plaisir sexuel ou pour renforcer la discipline personnelle. Voici les éléments principaux qui composent une cage de chasteté : Le tube, parfois connu sous le nom de cage, forme la partie essentielle de l’appareil. C’est dans cette partie que se trouve le pénis. Le tube est souvent façonné pour s’ajuster à la forme du pénis au repos, assurant un maintien confortable mais limité. Les tubes peuvent être fabriqués en acier, plastique ou silicone, chaque matériau offrant des avantages différents en matière de qualité, confort, sécurité et hygiène. L’anneau de base est une composante clé du mécanisme. Il est placé autour de la base du pénis et derrière les testicules. Il est relié au tube pour s’assurer que la cage ne bouge pas et éviter tout retrait non souhaité. Les anneaux sont disponibles en tailles variées pour un ajustement confortable à l’utilisateur, sans exercer une pression trop importante. Le verrou permet de sécuriser la cage sur l’anneau de base. Il existe plusieurs types de verrous, allant des cadenas métalliques traditionnels aux dispositifs de verrouillage plus discrets en plastique. Lorsque le verrou est en place, le dispositif ne peut être retiré sans la clé, garantissant que l’utilisateur reste en état de chasteté. Les espaçeurs, également connus sous le nom de tiges de connexion, joignent l’anneau de base au tube. Elles ajustent la distance entre l’anneau et la cage, offrant un confort sur mesure pour l’utilisateur. On trouve ces tiges en plusieurs longueurs pour garantir un ajustement optimal selon la morphologie de chaque utilisateur. Il est important de mesurer plusieurs paramètres, tels que la longueur de la verge et les diamètres de la base du pénis et de la verge. Des ailettes anti-recul, qui sont de petites extensions internes, sont parfois ajoutées aux cages de chasteté pour éviter tout mouvement arrière du pénis. Cela assure une meilleure sécurité en rendant toute tentative de retrait beaucoup plus difficile.

Quels effets positifs découle de la chasteté?

La chasteté, notamment pratiquée avec des accessoires comme les cages de chasteté, apporte de nombreux bénéfices, tant personnels que relationnels. La maîtrise de soi, développée par la chasteté, permet de mieux se concentrer sur d’autres aspects personnels de la vie. Elle peut également renforcer l’anticipation et le désir sexuel, rendant les moments d’intimité plus intenses. En pratiquant la chasteté, les couples peuvent améliorer leur communication et solidifier leur complicité. Les partenaires, en se focalisant sur l’affection non sexuelle, peuvent renforcer leur connexion émotionnelle et enrichir leur relation.

Porter et utiliser une cage de chasteté :

Une fois que la cage de chasteté est fixée, elle bloque toute érection complète et limite l’accès au pénis. Cela permet de réguler l’activité sexuelle, que l’utilisateur soit seul ou sous la supervision d’un partenaire. Assurer une bonne hygiène pendant le port de la cage est essentiel. La majorité des cages permettent la miction sans retirer le dispositif, mais il est important de nettoyer fréquemment pour éviter irritations et infections. Pour enlever la cage, il est indispensable d’utiliser la clé pour déverrouiller le dispositif et retirer l’anneau de base ainsi que le tube. Il est recommandé de contrôler l’état de la peau et la circulation sanguine après chaque période prolongée de port. Une cage de chasteté est un dispositif élaboré mais efficace pour ceux qui choisissent la chasteté. En comprenant bien ses parties et en l’utilisant correctement, il est possible de l’intégrer confortablement et en toute sécurité dans sa vie personnelle ou en couple.

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Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: so you may notice I am wearing an anklet generally an anklet is a symbol of a hot wife or a cuckoldress that means she is available to play with other people a [ __ ] is someone who actually is probably more in touch with their masculine and has the confidence and intelligence especially emotional intelligence to be able to surrender to this experience there’s a level of power that you get in controlling somebody’s orgasm or sexual uality touching my key and then having that moment of remembering that he’s sitting at home in a cage and I’m with somebody else adds to it and it heightens my pleasure my name is Abby and my name is Liam and you’re listening to the evolving love podcast in this podcast we Deep dive into the topics of non- monogamy and relationships drawing from our experiences of being consensually non- monogamous for over a decade whether you’re monogamous polyamorous curious or anything in between we invite you to join us for this conversation let’s begin dear listener before we jump into today’s episode of the evolving love podcast we have a favor to ask of you if you are not already following and subscribed to evolving love on Spotify or apple podcasts or wherever you are listening to this episode please hit that subscribe button it is a fantastic way to support our show and ensure that you will never miss an episode today we’re diving head first into the taboo world of cuckolding with Shai we’ll be exploring the psychological and emotional complexities of this relationship Dynamic through an intimate interview with Shai a cuckoldress who is in a 24/7 cuckolding Dynamic get ready for an honest and insightful conversation that May challenge your understanding of Love sexuality and the boundaries of relationships Shai is also a passionate Rel relationship and intimacy coach specializing in open relating and kink you can find her work at coach tress on Instagram and coach.com in this episode we cover what cuckolding actually is common misconceptions the ideal [ __ ] Chastity cages female Le relationships communication and kink common mistakes in cuckolding how to share deep fantasies and Kinks with your partner the distinctions between hot wiing and cuckolding and so much more thank you so much for joining us sh it’s a pleasure to have you here in our home studio this is so exciting for me guys it’s been really lovely getting to know you through the conversation nights that you have I’ve been to a couple and so I’m really thrilled to be asked to join we start our conversation uh nights off with going around the circle and everyone introducing themselves and I remember the first time you did it you said I’m in this particular type of relationship I’m interested and cocking and I’m happy to talk about that tonight and I could see people around the room going oh my God you know this is this is amazing first of all the honesty and the vulnerability straight out of the gate but it was it was so beautiful to see and one thing that we did initially because I saw that people within the room maybe didn’t actually know what cocking was we asked if you’d feel comfortable sharing uh what your definition of [ __ ] holding is so maybe we could start our conversation today with you telling us a little bit about what you think cuck holding is my definition is probably different to a lot of people’s uh I’ve been involved in this lifestyle now for about 5 years and delving deep into sort of understanding the cuck mind and what I have done is paired it down to the very Basics and for me it is a one-sided open relationship where one partner is um connecting with others sexually out side of that main relationship and the other partner is monogamous to her and they both like it that way so that’s sort of in its purest form and then we’ve got sort of different layers to that I think a lot of people assume that cck holding is all about uh degradation and shame and Chastity and a whole bunch of other activities which yes very popular and tend to go go hand inand with this lifestyle but not necessarily how everybody enacts it I see those things as The Kinks that the individuals involved like and so they practice um but they it doesn’t necessarily mean it is a default of that Dynamic we can go a little bit further if you like in regard let’s go further all the way so there’s cck holding and there’s another sort of part of the lifestyle that’s also becoming super popular and that’s a hot wiing lifestyle and so they’re very similar in regard and this is why I like that sort of umbrella sort of term of one-sided open relationship hot wiing again one-sided open but for me and many will disagree but what I’ve seen is that there is a power Dynamic difference which is the flip side to the [ __ ] hold in [ __ ] holding generally the cuckoldress is the dominant and the cck is submissive so she takes the lead she decides who when how and in the hot wife Dynamics generally it’s the Stag who’s the male partner who tends to like to show his partner off so he will organize the dates he will sort of um navigate the direction and she tends to be submissive and wants to please him in that way and that includes being with other people she enjoys that but he is kind of the dominant in that role fascinating and with the [ __ ] holding and the hot wiing I’ve also heard there’s like cut queening as well and hot husbanding I have met a hot husband before so yeah can you so that’s again the inverse of the cockold dynamic where so here we’re going into that heteronormative type conversation um where we’re sort of creating titles and labels for gender specific roles and so this is the inverse you’ve got the female that likes to be cucked so she’s the cuck Queen uh and then you’ve got the man who’s the hot husband uh who will go out and have relations with other people we can’t forget about the Bulls and so we have Bulls I prefer the term bull I think we bull I love that I just think we all know bull but I like to sort of humanize it these are people um and I just feel that bull friend kind of describes that a little bit better and gives you an idea that they also have an equal part in this three-way Dynamic bull or bull friend as I said um but for the cut queens and the hot husbands they have cupcakes I have friends that want to be cupcakes just because it’s cute to have that title I mean that’s a that’s the sweetest title well hopefully dear listener you are following along to all these terms if you haven’t heard all these terms hopefully people are taking notes as they listen to this podcast but I I do Wonder so what was your entryway into exploring these cockled Dynamics my partner so uh I’ve been a kingster uh for many many years probably longer than I even knew what that meant and when he and I started dating about 6 years ago I was I considered myself Polly at the time I was seeing a woman at the time that he was being set up with um but weend end up together we’re all still very good friends and he came to me as a submissive male we used to talk about um those Dynamics he was looking for a female L relationship again another one of those things that is quite prevalent in the cuckold communities and Dynamics where the woman again has the power but with a female Le relationship she’s taking care of everything it generally means that she’s the boss of everything household decisions Financial decisions and all the sexual decisions as well so he was sort of looking for that I think it was about 18 months into our relationship that he finally admitted that it was cuck holding that he wanted to explore so when you both initially met he was very upfront like Straight Out The Gate he was like I’m really interested in exploring these female Leed relationships and then over time it kind of teased out that actually it was a cuck old Dynamic that was was really being looked for yeah yeah and I think that happened because we met through King friends so I don’t know if he would have been as open about it if he had met me through as we call vanilla yes yeah and don’t worry I love vanilla vanilla’s the best flavor um but in sort of vanilla environments um he may not have been as forthcoming I also think that he kind of what’s the word um maybe pinpointed me as you know somebody that would be the perfect candidate for what he’s looking for obviously I was you know seeing other people and very early on in our relationship I had said to him that if he wanted to get serious with me if he wanted to have a relationship with me he would need to be open to me seeing others I was also open for him to explore that himself obviously with lots of communication and conversation but he had told me from the onset that he was not um interested in doing that he just didn’t have the capacity or the desire um to put that type of work that it takes to connect with more than one person but he was willing to go into these spaces and environments holding hands and exploring things together and whatever I decided and whatever Direction I took he would be willing to engage amazing and before this point with him were you you were already in that King space but were you already quite sort of aware of [ __ ] holding and and this this particular type of lifestyle or did you feel like you know it was a whole new experience new new I I was aware um I knew what it meant um you know I had knowledge of the very basic foundational understanding of it but I really didn’t know the extent of what uh lifestyle that is or what sort of relationship Dynamic that was so I went deep into sort of the research and um trying to understand the cuck mind the psychology behind it why I mean even though like I said I considered myself Polly and was already open relating um when he said that to me I kind of went into a bit of a freakout mode of what what what does what do you mean this doesn’t make sense it’s doesn’t seem fair are you trying to sort of manipulate me into some other direction do you want to sleep with other people and this is your way of and I don’t know why that freaked me out because I was already open to it but just because of the way he approached it it was so foreign and so bizarre to me that I it really took me quite some time to wrap my head around it there was also other sort of insecurities that popped up for me like why do you want me to be with other people do you not want to be with me am I not good enough are you not happy with our sex life um so it did kind of um prompt me to sort of delve into it a little bit more and to start to understand but once I understood that he gets pleasure out of my pleasure yes there’s a lot of compersion in cck holding um then I was comfortable to move forward and engage with it it’s an interesting cross-section as well especially when you’re coming from that polyamorous mindset which is so about we’re equal or like you’re dating and I’m dating and I want you to have those connections and you want me to have those connections and we’re sort of you know supporting each other through that landscape but to then have this other Dynamic at play it would almost be I imagine it’s it’s a little bit of rewiring but also coming back to that it doesn’t need to be equal but it’s you know this is about equity and it’s about you know we all have different needs and desires it really comes down to that creating that relationship that works for the two of you based on your own needs and your own desires and your own Pleasures 100% yeah that Equity part especially I think I always talk about this as when people just don’t it’s like what’s in it for him you know you’re getting all the play and all the connection but what does he get and I sort of liken it to if you’re a sweet tooth and you like cake and I’m not so much I’m definitely a Savory girl I’m you know you’re we’re going to have a piece of cake and I’m going to cut it so that I get a little taste cuz I just want a little taste but um you’ll get the rest of that piece and everyone’s happy it’s it’s fair it ends up being that everyone is actually getting what they want Even though to the outside world it looks like hey you’re taking all of the cake yeah it does break down kind of the the notion about you know kind of sexual energy and where it comes from because for him I imagine a lot of the sexual energy comes from your experiences that are happening outside of him uh you know he doesn’t have to be present necessarily for these experiences but he is still feeling a huge amount of Sexual Energy because of that compersion because of all the different emotions that that’s playing with so initially when he came and and spoke to you about cocking and he said look this is actually something and you said it was kind of a little bit into your relationship I imagine for him that would have been a really delicate conversation to have with you because obviously you’ve already started like this beautiful relationship and that it does even though that you you are in a kink kind of mindset and you did come from a kink background there is a a deep vulnerability in sharing with your partner actually I’m into something that has a lot of stigma around it I feel like cocking as a fetish there is a lot of stigma around it so when he brought this conversation up to you was he really nervous about having that conversation with you even though you obviously are very open-minded that is um yeah yeah so it wasn’t a conversation that’s how much I think a stigma this lifestyle is he was so nervous about sharing that that he actually sent me an email to divulge his desires and to explain to me where it may come from from for him um and it was an email he sent to mistress which is our DS Dynamic at the time love it so he yeah he basically wrote it out and I still to this day remember um at the very end um I get a little bit confused I think it was uh divulge provide all the information this is something I’d like to explore with you and then uh signed off with and now breathe M wow yeah I think that’s such a beautiful way to go about it because he can he can share his thoughts and his desires with you but then also doesn’t have to witness your response in real time I think there’s a real Beauty and it’s it’s like it’s a beautiful generous way to just give that information and then just let it be so that you can process think about it and also that you’re not then rushed to sort of immediately say yes of course you can sort of take that time to go well what does this mean and what would this mean for me and and for us and how would this change you know for me it was very much oh my God this now makes sense um all the pieces of the puzzle are starting to go into place because I kind of had an idea that this is what he wanted and in fact I think by that stage I had already realized but I didn’t want to push that and I was just waiting for him to come to me with it rather than just forcing it out of him um because there were many times from the beginning where he would share you know podcasts or articles or you know blogs on C holding and so he would then say have a read of this isn’t it interesting what do you think about that and we’d have a bit of a conversation and I would say I probably would have a lot of questions after these things and I would be saying you know that like everybody else that doesn’t seem fair what do you mean and so that could have potentially um sto him sharing uh even further with me at the beginning until he felt more comfortable and understood that I would have been more open to exploring it so he was kind of like breadcrumbing you right right until the thing and then when the email came you you had to kind of act surprised you’re like oh actually oh I guess I I didn’t see this coming no I was a Bach I was like I knew it um I knew it but it was really nice to actually finally hear it and to have that confirmed um for me everything and the way I engage with everybody’s consent based and so I needed to hear that I needed to get the um green flag for him to say okay I’m ready and let’s you know start discussing this and how we’re going to engage with it and I imagine it’s one of those things as well where when you’re getting to know each other and you’re getting to know each other’s Dynamics you know it’s not like [ __ ] holding is just this one size fits all type of cuck holding like you Google it that’s the image that’s what we must want it’s like he’s getting to know you and you’re getting to know him so there’s a beauty in like letting it just unfold naturally where you’re getting to know each other so that when it gets to the point of sharing and then saying well what could this look like for you or you know what would you want or what would I want you have a better understanding of each other and you can create something together because I imagine it would be an incredibly creative way to connect 100% And interestingly enough we’re still at that stage you know I think with Kinks um it’s a NeverEnding journey and so as I’ve heard you both speak about even with your open relating where you get to a certain point where you might have some insecurities and hesitancies about doing something and then you live through it and you experience something and then you’re like okay I’m okay with that part now what sort of what else can we do what where else can we take it so it’s I can’t see this ever really getting boring or slowing down it’s just a constant New Direction and more Discovery and more depth of connection so he sent the email and you received it you acted a little bit surprised and then what where does it go from there because it it’s often one thing to have these like really hot fantasies about these different fetishes uh but then to actually make them a reality sometimes they don’t necessarily translate and sometimes the fantasy stays best as a fantasy correct so so what made you both decide to actually explore it in real life I think we were already engaging in some of the activities that can uh come as part of the cut holding so um we were engaging in things like Chastity and denial and um that sort of uh female Le uh relationship so there was times when he would feel like I’m not getting my needs met you know if he’s in chody for extended periods then how am I getting any gratification where do I get my sexual needs met and so um it’s these conversations about what that might look like for me what am I wanting to do how am I going to explore it and I guess then there was that moment of okay where am I at now what do I want and um it becomes a real journey for me the cuckoldress hot wife in finding yourself and in finding your confidence again and it’s been a real I guess yeah confidence Builder um where I have really been able to explore and journey and have this support of almost a cheer leader that’s by your side um who’s relying on you to sort of take them on a journey um but it’s through your um needs and your desires um I think I felt safer in going out and meeting people and I’ve been more levelheaded about my kind of open relating too because I have this partner at home that I can always come back to and I can talk about anything and I can vent to and it’s safe and it’s home and it’s comfortable and they’re there as a support and so it’s self-discovery um and then the conversations and then little baby steps of trying it out I do know people that sort of jump into it and just Full Speed Ahead and boy it take it’s very very rare that somebody’s going to be able to manage all of the sort of emotions and difficulties and hit roadblocks and um have a healthy kind of experience um so for me it’s always been about those little baby steps and it’s also what makes it exciting your it’s it’s if you look at this lifestyle as a journey every little step brings another level of excitement another additional sort of thing to work through and um connect on and um it continues on people do think that um kolding is all about you being with other people and having sex with all these people but really the lifestyle the loving cuckold relationship um because I think there’s different ways to engage with [ __ ] holding and hotwifing people think it’s all about that but it’s all about the things behind the scenes it’s the little it’s the conversations it’s the buildup to all of these things it’s the reconnecting after going out and being with someone it’s them seeing you well for me because I guess mine is a little bit of a blend of polyamory um as well as [ __ ] holding because I do tend to connect um on an emotional level as well I do have casual um play but I do tend to feel more comfortable to have someone that I grow a more sort of emotional connection with and depth um as a kingster um that’s a place where you need to feel safe and respected and um get to know someone to explore those facets deep more deeply M and so um yeah for me it’s it’s um having that person that I can talk to and um share these experiences with and um that kind of also ground me um but hold me and keep me safe and secure I’m really interested to hear more about the [ __ ] mindset yeah that you’ve mentioned of course you know there would be so many different [ __ ] mindsets you know every [ __ ] I’m sure would be so different but with your explanation or with your sorry Explorations what what sort of comes up for you when you when you think of the [ __ ] mindset there’s different ways that a lot of people approach it unfortunately when you look up [ __ ] holding it’s better these days it’s changed a lot over the last sort of even five years but 10 years um if you look up cck holding or hot wiing nine out of 10 times you’re going to be directed to some pornographic content and it’s unreal and it’s not how people engage when they’re in the lifestyle um what I have noticed is that there’s probably three different ways people engage with it you have the lifestylers and they are people who live this as their dynamic as their relationship style um it’s the basis of how they connect and how they um it’s their relationship it’s their relationship then you have people who use it as um a form of play so it will come up a lot of swingers tend to to kind of go um and and say okay well tonight I’d like for you I’d like just to watch I want to be able to sort of use cockold as a play um for the night for a weekend for whatever and then there’s the fantasy of it and um where a lot of people find that exciting and it’s something that they might even talk about in the bedroom but they will never actually take it that to that next step and connect with other people and so you would see your S as within the kind of Lifestyle approach to to cocking yeah absolutely um it is our Dynamic it’s um something that is the foundation of how we live so it’s always there um it’s like an omnipresence it’s an omnipresence yeah um I I don’t know if many people realize and maybe people might start looking now but there are signs that you can tell um where someone is available tell us what’s the what are the signs the signs so you may notice I am wearing an anklet I didn’t even notice okay okay we’re noticing now so generally an anklet is a symbol of a hot wife or a cuckoldress that means she’s available to play with other people so um those are sort of the little nuances that you have between a couple um that’s something that he has gifted me um as a promise to me that he will support me it makes me think of uh you know the upside down pineapple you know that like you know that hilarious I don’t even know if it’s actually true if it actually happens but people kind of like walking around the supermarket with upside down pineapples and I have seen some people not long ago I saw someone with a a pineapple tattoo and I did ask them I said do you know what that means and they said no I just love pineapples and I thought I thought M you’re you’re going to get yourself into some trouble I think but okay so so I think now there’s probably going to be a lot of listeners to podcast looking for ankle ankle bracelets correct yeah so it’s often on the right ankle I don’t think there’s any real kind of um way of going about it but predominantly worn on the right um she may have a little key hang hanging off it um and that’s another one so you might find um you’ll see someone with a key on the necklace again not necessarily [ __ ] holding but it’s a uh symbol of them having someone in Chast they’re locked up but yes it does tend to go hand inand so with those sorts of things it’s always there um when we’re out and about it’s not like we’re like I’m always out looking for you know connections but um there’s flutatious moments there’s the whisper of um something I might notice or he might even point something out to me he’ll he’s often saying oh look she’s got an anklet do you think maybe they’re into that um so it is the way that we operate engage connect yeah I’m imagining lots of in jokes lots of yeah little Whispers lots of you know I mean I’m not sure I’m not in your relationship but you know maybe you know well you better watch out because look over there you know I’ve got my eye on him like is it that sort of absolutely which makes me think a little bit um you know in [ __ ] holding something that can come to mind for people is like the humiliation aspect as well to [ __ ] holding would you like to speak to that again very prevalent in the dynamic um especially carold compared to the hot wiing with the hot wiing the uh situation days usually the guy um would it’s about showing off it’s about um you know um making her the center of attention and it’s kind of a Bravado whereas with the cuck holding it’s comes from a place of sometimes feeling like they might not be able to satisfy their partner in the way that their partner needs whether that be because of physicalities or whether it’s just that Dynamic for example for my uh partner and myself he’s a submissive male particularly in the bedroom and so if I want to have a sexual experience where I have a dominant partner that’s not something he can provide for me and so to a level that can bring on a level of Shame um but that shame creates that [ __ ] angst that amplifies that Sexual Energy and the connection between us so the degradation can vary from um anything as little is just little teasing as you mentioned um right through to some pretty hardcore um things that some people um might engage in it’s not a default it’s not necessarily a part of Co holding but it tends to sort of mainstream thinks it is so that can be quite tricky when um seeking for play Partners I try not to put that I’m looking for a bull or you know that I’m in a cuckle dynamic because instantly um you’ll get guys coming in saying oh I’m going to you know treat your partner like this and they start becoming um dominant over the both of us stay away buddy that’s not your job you don’t get to talk to my partner like that you need to come in with some respect and understanding um so there’s a lot of confusion out there about that degradation piece it is prevalent however not necessary and so what about the connection or the relationships between your partner and your bull friends so we’ve just said they can’t come in you know dominating and you know having a bit of arrogant bravado or whatnot you know towards your partner but is there any sort of contact connection friendship what does it look like for you guys good question there is and there isn’t um at this stage of where we’re at he is someone that doesn’t want to he doesn’t need to be there to watch again another sort of thing that most people think is the norm it’s like oh he’s going to be there he’s going no tied up in the corner on the chair for to watch yeah absolutely not not for us um potentially could end up there at some point but he’s very much involved in my getting ready um and um helping me prepare for um my dates he will often drive me there and pick me up um again give me that extra level of security and safety he has met some of the people that I have played with I now have a boyfriend they have met but we don’t hang out we don’t have um that type of connection maybe at some point it’s a conversation we’ve had that we may go there he’s just not ready um so we move at his Pace I tend to get a bit more excited and want to for me you know kitchen table Polly is kind of the dream um and having that kind of connection with whether it’s my boyfriends um particularly if I am having a relationship with someone but with my casual connections he doesn’t even yeah doesn’t make them or anything like that do do you find that for him when you discuss it after the fact and and after he has met some of your bull friends does he find that that increases the eroticism for him or does it actually does it not impact on how erotic he finds you know what’s happening away from you know what he can actually see I would love to ask that question to him yeah what I do see is especially right after the fact if I’ve gone out on a date if I’ve had some time with someone else how um accommodating he is he’s he likes to listen he wants to hear he my happiness is just brings him so much joy I do believe it does bring him um that kind of added sexual um energy really that is to me the difference between an open relationship and a cuckle dynamic you can be in a polyamorous relationship an open what the any other non- monogamous relationship where one person is non- monogamous and one is um it doesn’t mean that’s a cut cold Dynamic what makes it cut cold is the fact that that other person gets that sexual gratification out of your engagement with others yeah it’s different to Monopoly yeah and so with your bull friends um or like your current boyfriend at what point did you tell him that you were in this Dynamic do you sort of wait until you’re you know you get to know each other and you’ve got that trust there or is it something that you feel like you want to share sort of Straight Out The Gate yeah it varies definitely so I tend to travel a lot for work and lots of opportunities there’s opportunities to connect with others and if I’m not exhausted at the end of the day I will often um organize a date and for me that’s a fun time to just explore and have some fun it’s usually a drink or dinner and even that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily going to go further um but when it does fun and I don’t necessarily have to tell those people anything I will tell them I’m in an open relationship and that’s because of the way that they treat me I guess there’s there and I don’t want to spend that night explaining My Lifestyle so they don’t notice the the anklet they don’t understand what it is they they may notice it oh b a beautiful piece of jewelry exactly exactly however if I’m um dating with my current boyfriend I believe I told him on the first date just because we had this incredible chemistry there was a lot of vulnerability between us a lot of openness and so I could sort of feel for what is right I do like to provide that information pretty early on but if I’m seeking those connections I’m kind of seeking someone who wants to explore that um so that’s why I will divulge early on in the piece so usually sort of dating already within that King space as well do you feel like if you looking to sort of date somebody and have it be they you know they’ll become your regular partner your regular boyfriend You’ probably look to find them more in that in that Kink yeah I will tend to look for someone who’s dominant yes um and then kind of see where that grows to organically I will then bring up things I will then start the breadcrumbing and be like hey have you heard of and what do you think of it and what do you understand this means and then that will go into conversation and that’s where I guess I’ll open up a little bit more if you enjoying this episode of the evolving love podcast we invite you to follow comment and subscribe sharing the podcast with friends family or lovers is the best way to support the evolving love podcast if you interested in diving deeper and accessing my premium writing archive and other exclusive content you can sign up at evolving love project. substack docomo type of like cockled relationships there’s a lot of ways in which people might presume Chastity looks but within your relationship how did you CU you said you were kind of experimenting with kind of chassity and denial before you had those cockled conversations so what did that look like before and then after you’d had those cocking conversations oo I guess the difference well maybe I should explain sort of how we engage with it um first and that is it can very dependent on where my mindset is um we will engage with it maybe just as a part of play for an afternoon evening a weekend um and other times it might be for a prolonged period of time we’ve played with it where it has um lasted for over 2 months of wow amazing his eyes just went wide opened up really wide um that really is something that impacts the psychology of the cck but it also creates something in me where I get there’s a level of power that you get in controlling somebody’s um orgasm or sexuality and um it’s a really fun dance and play that extends outside of the bedroom um and can go on for a long period of time so that hasn’t changed but I guess what has changed is what I would tease him about at the beginning um when there wasn’t other people involved um to the kinds of things I might tease him about during now where I am seeing other people um so it’s just the dialogue I guess and the way we engage with the banter between us and so functionally speaking is this are cages involved chassity cages involved yes so oh there’s so much to chity that could be a whole episode of its own um but yes so essentially you would um put a cage on the genitals of your partner you can say penis it’s all right it’s not a it’s not a PG podcast that’s all right we can we can get a little bit more exp up okay there we go and you get to hold the key and you can for us at the moment probably one of the ways we really enjoy it is that if I am going to go on a date um that’s kind of what happens is part of me getting ready and walking out the door is okay it’s coming on and I’m going to wear the key and for me it’s a really big um exciting part because when I’m with someone else staying in that culous mindset is being in the moment and um that weight of that key is just a reminder and there’s a connection to um my partner at the time and so when I’m coming home back to him the conversation is there with how much he was actually still a part of it even though he wasn’t um physically present so the denial part on an extended period of where um there is probably within the first 12 hours I noticed a difference in his demeanor um in his way that he relates to me by the end of the first week that’s there’s a big shift the focus um in him to get things done he becomes a lot more motivated he becomes a lot more subservient there’s a lot more um doting from him towards me and he’s a lot more agreeable um it’s really quite fascinating what happens and I would recommend um people engage in Chastity whether they’re in a coak dynamic or not um just to experiment of what that does to your connection and it can be a really interesting um experiment to to figure out who you are and it can really just teach you about yourself and how you operate when you have that dependency taken away from you it’s fascinating and so would he be wearing this cage you know it outside of the home oh yeah okay so it’s 24/7 if we’re doing an extended so for the two-month kind of Journey that you went on that was like a he was going to work he was doing the whole thing he was hanging out with friends he was catching up with family and no one knew is he allowed to take it off at different times no no it stays on it stays on there is uh considerations obviously like hygiene we have found um with certain types of cages and I won’t go into all the specifics but you know metal cages they you’re able to actually have a better level of hygiene and not have to have to take it off at all he sleeps in it it’s 24/7 a lot of people will have um uh rituals where they will um do a cleaning um and it will have to be under supervision and it goes straight back on once everything is dried up and you can put it back on and so that it doesn’t seem like there’s been an interruption so yeah it keeps you in that um mindset and nothing changes also when you’re out on a date just being in that chassity being in that cage would be such a beautiful point of connection to knowing that you are coming back because you have the key correct you know hopefully otherwise that could be an awkward trip to Bunnings to try and like get some get some pliers to get the get the Cassidy cage has the key ever been lost no no yeah no um I do keep spares I always have a spare um we play a little bit more risky than most if he travels for work obviously not by plane I was going to say going through the the metal detector surely that’s going to be a and it doesn’t even have to be metal these days it’s um a lot of those x-ray uh airport detectors now are on a solid U bulky thing now so um it’s not even necessarily metal they’ll pick up uh silicon plastic that makes for an awkward conversation of Customs yeah exactly and again as we base everything on consent um I would not put someone I wouldn’t put a staff member at an airport through that because this is our play this is our activity and it’s not for anyone else to um you know I wouldn’t to me that’s not consensual even if it was your partner’s Kink to be sort of exposed in that way the the other people you have to know someone who works at the airport so if anyone’s listening to this who works who works at the airport who wants to get involved in a really hot fantasy okay to my mind it brings up some really interesting like this whole kind of you being a [ __ ] Oris brings up a lot of really interesting kind of emotional things that you have to navigate as well because I imagine there’s a kind of increased sense of of weight of when you go out on these dates you’re not only thinking about yourself enjoying the but you also have to devote bandwidth to what’s happening with him so does that ever become something that’s difficult to kind of carry because it does like there is this perception even in DS dynamics of of the dominant just kind of only caring about themselves and it’s all about the dominance pleasure but actually you’re doing kind of double the work because you’re not only worried about your pleasure in the moment with this bull friend but you’re also worried about whoever’s at at home yeah I would have to say the hot wife cut cess probably has the biggest responsibility in um and it is it’s a it’s a big weight to carry um however for me I really enjoy that kind of having him involved even if he’s not involved um it adds to my sexual gratification there are moments where I’ve been with somebody and um just you know touching my key and then having that moment of remembering that he’s sitting at home in a cage and I’m with somebody else adds to it and it it in it heightens my pleasure so taboo so taboo so taboo exactly this Dynamic is probably the most complex even though you have for example non monogamous relationships and they can be very complicated as you know um you’re you’re talking to your partners husbands you’re talking to your lovers um your na gating schedules you know and your sort of normal life this has that added layer of the um sexual charge across all of the connections it’s a three-way um I think one of the things we haven’t spoken much about is the involvement of the bull and what they bring into this play as well so there is a big difference between a boyfriend and just a casual sexual encounter M um they’re playing into the psychology of that dynamic as well um so for them to come in they need to understand what your Dynamic looks like and how it differs from the other people they may have had similar connections with what is it that pleases you which how much do they engage with the cuck um do they engage with the cuck is there going to be that sort of degradation component is there going to be um conversations between them I have friends that are in the lifestyle and the cuck will have full conversations and um organize um meetups and talk about what they might need for that particular date you know do you want me to organize a hotel room for the two of you would you like me to uh make sure there’s wine you know what type do you like red do you like white you know that sort of stuff becomes an expensive fetish at that point certainly can be um but so it’s it’s it can be very complicated um but it’s when it all comes together it it’s just extra and it’s magic and it’s really beautiful and so with some of the complexities and the Dynamics so with your bull friends your partner you know they would be more dominant they’re the already that more dominant man does that mean in that role you’re then you fall into being a little bit bit more submissive with them whilst also being dominant to your [ __ ] are you sort of are you juggling two different Dynamics yes in the one energetic moment even if your cock’s not there yes absolutely I’m lucky I’m a switch uh I do uh tend to struggle with surrendering to my submissive side that as a dominant woman and I tend to lean more to uh being dominant um in the king space and in real life I know what someone in my position can do to someone else in regards to damage physically emotionally mentally spiritually um and so it’s very rare that I’ll feel comfortable enough to allow someone to take me on that journey and so it’s really hard to find and so yes it can happen but that will generally be with one of my boyfriend SLB friends with play Partners casual play Partners I should mention it’s probably not something that I will engage in um just because I tend to want to feel safe and it’s more neutral more neutral with cuck holding obviously the kind of right end of the political Spectrum now we’ve got the kind of misappropriation of the word cuck and people use it as kind of this negative like oh they’re such a cuck as though it’s like really degrading you know it doesn’t carry the weight the sexual weight that that you would see the word carrying but I’m interested in how Society views this kind of fetish of [ __ ] holding because even when we were having this conversation you know with all our guests we go you know do you feel comfortable being on camera are you happy for us to to kind of make it public and of course when people say oh you know I’d rather not be on camera that’s totally fine I know we had the episode with Lena dun who’s uh or ask a sub and she’s a 247 submissive and her whole Persona is kind of behind this Avatar that she uses to kind of hide her identity and when we asked you you said oh you know I don’t feel comfortable sharing my face and of course that’s totally fine but I wonder why is cuck holding such Why does it carry so much stigma of all the fetishes you know there’s so many fetishes that are kind of celebrated you can be into Kink you can be into different sorts of BDSM but as soon as it comes to cocking there’s this added layer of of uh of stigma around it yeah so true then I would go further as to say that even though I’ve been a kingster for such a long time I didn’t know much about the cut cold uh dynamic because even there it’s not something that is prevalent um and I’m wondering whether it’s for these reasons I think um as you say the it is a derogatory term um I think as a society we tend to still to this day think of men as the Alpha as you know the boss as somebody who um you know that’s it’s their masculinity that’s being attacked for me a [ __ ] is someone who actually is probably more in touch with their masculine and has the confidence and intelligence especially emotional intelligence to be able to surrender to this experience so for me I see them as very strong intelligent devotional wonderful humans um but unfortunately Society doesn’t understand I think society’s watching porn and they look at what’s out there and it’s like this SNES little pathetic you know guy who’s basically being told what to do and discarded and almost like an animal um in porn it’s dehumanizing and it’s very derogatory so when people don’t understand something and that’s kind of what how it’s painted in general Society it’s seen as someone who’s less than and lower than and I think cucks in general are quite proud of who they are they’re already dealing with a lot of Shame people generally who are exploring Kinks tend to have to deal with a lot of that anyway this one extra and so it’s not something you can go out and say hey this is my Kink because the connotations are is that you’re this pathetic fool um and that you’re you know being used and abused by your partner and so not only is it them that’s being seen as in a negative light all a sudden as yeah exactly exactly I’m then through that it’s seeing me as and let’s you know talk about women [ __ ] shaming and you know so that’s another level that gets um attacked as well so unfortunately um when people don’t understand something they tend to fear it and therefore um they will put it down and um so have you been able to have conversations with people outside of the Kink scene about your cold relationship yes I have you have H I have look the kink of my life and the BDSM sort of exploration has been a huge part of who I am today it’s taught me a lot about human nature and relating and what I’m capable of it’s really given me a lot of confidence it’s who I am and so for me my friends that are truly my friends will know exactly who I am whether they’re engag in this sort of stuff or not and so they will often ask me questions I will be open I will be honest but it’s not something that I will instigate if they come to me for advice or we’re having conversations around relationships or certain subjects that I think my learnings from this world can provide some insights then I will speak about it and I think there’s a difference between talking about those influences and actually sharing what I do in the bedroom and so it really really opens up people’s minds um my again vanilla friends will often say to me why are we not taught these things why isn’t this sort of common knowledge you have so much insight as to the way people relate with each other you know and um how things are played out in the world this should be more common and so It’s Tricky um I love having the double life I think it’s really important to have one foot in sort of everyday normal society we live on this planet we have to share this space and you have to be part of that um at the same time I love my Kink life and world and it’s a very different beast and so for me bringing them together I see a lot of similarities um and I see a lot of things a lot of the learnings I’ve gotten out of the Kink World in how I engage and how how I express myself and how I carry myself in the real world for example I believe that there is a power Dynamic with every engagement and I’ve often said that the difference between vanilla and kink uh people is that with Kink you have an awareness that there is this power exchange and and that in itself is enough to be able to um communicate better to engage in more ethical ways and to just be a better person on the planet that’s brilliant and I think that’s a that’s a wonderful observation and something that I have definitely seen as well I feel like people in sex positive communities and King communities when I see them when I know them from the the Kink world or know them from the non monogamy world and I see them you know engaging in these kind of vanilla conversations I can see people respecting the the appropriate boundaries of of power dynamics so often I myself at parties with our vanilla friends and I will I’ll notice how touchy feely some of my female friends are and in a way that no non- monogamous person would do that because we’re so aware of each other’s boundaries we’re so aware of consent and so I feel like these hands on my arm and I’m thinking oh this actually feels quite uncomfortable but it’s like you were saying before you know because we’re so aware of power dynamics we’re so aware of consent and physical touch and and all of these different things I feel like if people had an an education and an understanding around non monogamous Concepts around Kink Concepts around uh you know the the power dynamics that are inherent in all these interactions we’d actually have a much safer environment for everyone 100% I’ve you know I remember I don’t go to sort of um nightclubs one I’m too old two I got to the point where I felt so uncomfortable the way that people treated each other the way men in particular would approach and force in a really predatory um touchy without asking um like they have ownership of you it was just really uncomfortable whereas I can go to a kink event and wear nothing but a pair of shoes and be feel safe and comfortable and no one’s touching you people approach they’ll have a conversation um but it’s respectful I guess it’s hard for people to understand what that might look like unless they’ve been in there I’ve often sat in those spaces having the conversation just about this how it’s a sex positive space you can see some really interesting things um you can engage in some interesting things but there is a way that you go about it that makes everyone feel comfortable and that this no pressure on anyone to do anything so that if you are doing something it’s because you genuinely truly want to definitely I’ve felt the same thing absolutely being in bars I don’t go to bars or clubs or anything very much and you know when we whenever we do I I’m the same I’m looking around and I’m just thinking oh there’s so many red flag there that’s not appropriate why would he do that you know there’s just it’s like a Minefield but it’s normalized and I’m also feeling extremely protective over you in those envir and I feel like I can’t relax because I know that you feel uncomfortable and I’m just looking around going oh all these [ __ ] just have no have no idea you know but as you were saying like at a kink event you can there’s actually an element of just being able to relax knowing that people have respect at the Forefront of their minds exactly um but I was wondering so a lot of people and a lot of men might be listening to this conversation and they might be thinking actually this is kind of putting a framework to some of the feelings or the fantasies that I have what would be your advice to a a man in a relationship who wants to bring I know for for you there was an email that came through for you but what would be your advice for someone who might be a you know potential cuck in the making yeah actually that is something that I get asked a lot it’s probably the most common question um that I get asked is how do I get my wife to do this you don’t and and the other one is where do we find bull friends but my recommendation is to first of all just really figure out for yourself is this something that is just a fantasy that you want to play with um a little bit and to to enhance your uh sexual connection or is it something you truly want to try um and if it is then it’s about being open and vulnerable you know women generally tend to be the nurturers and they want to make their Partners happy um they won’t do things that they don’t want to do but I think I’m very willing and open to the conversations what I see a lot of people doing is coming at it with full force going ever since I was 16 I had this you know fantasy and I wanted do this and I want you to go out and [ __ ] all the men and they’re like whoa um it’s approach gently um baby steps have a conversation about how you have had thoughts that these are things that have run through your mind that you don’t know what maybe that where you want this to go but you like to have conversations around it and bring it in slowly gently and don’t come try and not come at it from what’s been your erotic fantasy but think about it of how it can be applied in your relationship stay curious and keep the conversation open yeah be gentle with your approach be um uh not subtle but um open enough and vulnerable to explain what it is that you’re feeling and potentially Desiring keeping your partner safe in regards to how you um approach it with saying look this isn’t something I want you to do this isn’t uh this is very much about how much you want to engage but I’d like to have a conversation at least this is what I’ve been feeling this is what I’ve kind of wanted to explore how does that sit with you what have you gotten and and when you do approach tell them that you don’t want an answer straight away give your partner an opportunity to really digest this news and have time to process this news and come up with questions and just give them space to do that and so when they have um maybe you know give them another time when we can get back together and let’s discuss or just I’m putting it out there now it’s up to you to get back to me when you would like to discuss this further I think the breadcrumbing is a really good way of opening that dialogue too still just providing maybe a Blog an article um a podcast episode this podcast episode episode we go just to start those conversations it could be something as simple as I had a dream last night and you were with somebody else and I was really aroused by that how does that make you feel manufactur dreams I feel like I feel like we hear those all the time well fantasies are a dream yeah yeah that’s absolutely that’s just another word for it so for a woman who may be interested in Co being a cuckoldress herself you know how would she go approaching her male partner to introduce ideas would it be a similar kind of method for how you described before about how a cuckold could approach or are there something kind of different or slightly different in terms of the feminine experience and then bringing this up as a conversation uh to your male partner it would be great if there was more women that actually even knew this was available to them first well maybe after this EP episode drops there’ll just be all these cockle dresses wearing all these anklets all around female Le relationships will be think so because there are a lot of men it is definitely a male dominated fantasy this one um and so I would love that more women um had an interest in this so if you do have an interest probably just start with um those little flirtatious uh comments and see how your partner reacts to those first and foremost but it’s it’s much of a matness I’d say the same uh sort of thing um but there is probably uh what happens more so is that women are approached uh by their men whether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been together for a long time I speak to a lot of cucks who have not yet divulged this to their uh wies they’ve been together sometimes 20 25 years they’re too scared to open up about uh their needs and desires because they may have said something or mentioned something or watched a movie or heard something and their wies made a comment that just shows them that this is not a conversation to be had yeah it’s a tough one I guess again it’s approaching gently um having these conversations and maybe even asking them what it is that they might be fearing or what they’re thinking or what’s their understanding of what you’re putting forward um so that you can have that dialogue around getting a clear understanding like myself as I said to you earlier on in this piece was even though I was in an open relationship um with my partner when he approached me with this I kind of went into this mode of what what do you mean this doesn’t make sense and what are you trying to do here just it just didn’t do some research don’t go to porn to do that research are there online communities that people can can find there certainly are and interestingly enough I’ve just started one myself oh there we go amazing started a telegram uh Community for um anyone who’s interested or living that lifestyle so it’s fairly new and there’s some really good conversations basically we’re there to support each other through these kinds of conversations um if someone’s uh also to cheer each other on when someone’s about to experience something um but it’s been a really interesting space um to see the dialogue between the cucks and the Bulls and how they interact with each other and the respect that’s given is been wonderful unfortunately there’s not many women in there um I’d love to have more join um there is couple uh profiles that come into the space um but it’s the guys that tend to do most of the talking um so there’s that one but yeah um you can get onto fat life there’s communities on there you can um listen to um obviously this podcast um but there are a couple of other podcasts that I think are really good cuck my life is a new one that’s cucks by uh for cucks I actually for anyone uh but uh by cucks and of course Venus cuckold’s podcast um she has been around for quite some time championing um the women to get on board um and reprimanding um all the the bad behavior all the bad behavior from um I guess both the uh guys that come in thinking that they can just be predatorial in their approach um and also the cucks that think they can force their Partners into this lifestyle MH I guess they’re the sort of places and then there’s a myriad of blogs um there’s some really good blogs out there all you need to do is Google it there’s one thing that uh before we wrap up there’s one thing that I’m really interested in and that is uh privacy MH because we we talked about there being so much stigma around this when you are engaging with uh bull friends obviously there’s a lot of trust that’s going kind of both ways and especially when you start divulging really sensitive things about your Rel relationship and about your partner and his identity as a cockold how do you go about establishing that sense of trust and respect for the privacy because of course especially people you know with jobs and and in different professions some professions might be a lot more sensitive to other professions and if this kind of did come out then it would be a huge problem so how do you go about navigating those situations yeah for me my relationship with my partner my cookie um that’s my sanctuary and so I will be very careful with what I Devol but in general I tend to not share much with anyone about anything cuz um people have their own stories and they’re their own stories to tell um I share what’s required as in what my schedule might be I share um you know like my availability or um I I won’t go into my relationship details that’s nobody’s business I guess being in a cuck hole there is some sort of um sharing that will happen but it’ll be directed by me in regards to maybe um I might say be good to have a photo that we could take or how would you feel about um if we were to record a part of our engagement or do you feel comfortable sending um the picture yourself to my partner or uh something like that but I won’t go into um his personal life or anything that’s going on between us or how we live life um obviously with boyfriends that becomes a bit more of a blurred line um but just purely uh bull friends casual play friends it’s it’s really in the moment sharing of that exciting component but not more than that privacy is still Paramount both for us and for them I won’t ask for you know information about their private lives it’s not my business do you feel like your cuck holding Dynamic with your partner is very sacred to the two of you or would you ever in the future be open to having another [ __ ] old partner as well I have a million question I know we’re getting to the end of it but I just it is and I have been approached I don’t know the answer is I don’t know I’m not closed off to anything we have discussed uh about um having some sort of Engagement with others um maybe key holding or I don’t know some some interactions and but it’s not the same it’s for me [ __ ] holding is a relationship based Dynamic if it’s the lifestyle yes um you know you’ve got people that might not be in a relationship but they want to build that sort of level of [ __ ] angst that might go to a sex worker dominatrix to um get um some sort of gratification and um play um but as a cuckle dynamic for me um that is very much a relationship based um Dynamic and so yes that is very sacred to me wonder well Shai thank you so much for coming over and having this conversation with us it is so important to be having these conversations and to just be normalizing different Kinks and I think you approach things in such a a thoughtful and deliberate way and it’s wonderful to hear your perspective on all of these things thank you I’d like to just say a little bit about the normalizing component yeah I I I struggle with that sometimes um struggle I I think it’s really import important um that we do have these conversations um I think people should be educating themselves on what is out there and how other people might engage but I’m not always for normalizing everything totally I feel like this needs to be tooo yeah it’s the nature of it yeah exactly um because it is a big part of um that dynamic dnam in particular and if we don’t have that taboo then we’re starting to infiltrate normal society where we have children and people that really aren’t um you know consenting to being involved in these Dynamics and that’s where you’re seeing people dressed up in you know with a color and aash in public in the shopping center shopping center and that’s not appropriate that’s not okay so when we say normalizing I think it’s good to have the conversations in adult spaces where people are seeking that information but to force it on others is not what we want to do and the taboo is definitely what makes it a big fun keep it sacred yeah exactly that’s thank you for making that distinction that that is a really important distinction and maybe a better way to phrase it I should have said removing the stigma around these conversations I think that’s better because I think what you just said is extremely important and definitely a very very good point to make but thank you so much Shai for coming through and we will I know we’re going to receive so many comments and questions about this so we’ll we’ll definitely be having you back on the podcast at some point absolutely uh and to hear the updates from all your exciting [ __ ] holding Adventures thank you so much for having me it’s been fun so much fun thanks for tuning in to the evolving love podcast if you enjoyed today’s episode don’t forget to hit the Subscribe button and leave a comment on your favorite podcast platform your feedback and support fuels our passion and together we’re building a community of curiosity kindness and growth subscribe comment and let’s keep the conversation going .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

0.32 so you may notice I am wearing an anklet
0.32 generally an anklet is a symbol of a hot
0.32 wife or a cuckoldress that means she is
0.32 available to play with other people a
0.32 [ __ ] is someone who actually is probably
0.32 more in touch with their masculine and
0.32 has the confidence and intelligence
0.32 especially emotional intelligence to be
0.32 able to surrender to this experience
0.32 there&;s a level of power that you get in
0.32 controlling somebody&;s orgasm or sexual
0.32 uality touching my key and then having
0.32 that moment of remembering that he&;s
0.32 sitting at home in a cage and I&;m with
0.32 somebody else adds to it and it
0.32 heightens my pleasure my name is Abby
0.32 and my name is Liam and you&;re listening
0.32 to the evolving love podcast in this
0.32 podcast we Deep dive into the topics of
0.32 non- monogamy and relationships drawing
0.32 from our experiences of being
0.32 consensually non- monogamous for over a
0.32 decade whether you&;re monogamous
0.32 polyamorous curious or anything in
0.32 between we invite you to join us for
0.32 this conversation let&;s begin dear
0.32 listener before we jump into today&;s
0.32 episode of the evolving love podcast we
0.32 have a favor to ask of you if you are
0.32 not already following and subscribed to
0.32 evolving love on Spotify or apple
0.32 podcasts or wherever you are listening
0.32 to this episode please hit that
0.32 subscribe button it is a fantastic way
0.32 to support our show and ensure that you
0.32 will never miss an episode today we&;re
0.32 diving head first into the taboo world
0.32 of cuckolding with Shai we&;ll be
0.32 exploring the psychological and
0.32 emotional complexities of this
0.32 relationship Dynamic through an intimate
0.32 interview with Shai a cuckoldress who is
0.32 in a 24/7 cuckolding Dynamic get ready
0.32 for an honest and insightful
0.32 conversation that May challenge your
0.32 understanding of Love sexuality and the
0.32 boundaries of relationships Shai is also
0.32 a passionate Rel relationship and
0.32 intimacy coach specializing in open
0.32 relating and kink you can find her work
0.32 at coach tress on Instagram and
0.32 coach.com in this episode we cover what
0.32 cuckolding actually is common
0.32 misconceptions the ideal [ __ ] Chastity
0.32 cages female Le relationships
0.32 communication and kink common mistakes
0.32 in cuckolding how to share deep
0.32 fantasies and Kinks with your partner
0.32 the distinctions between hot wiing and
0.32 cuckolding and so much more thank you so
0.32 much for joining us sh it&;s a pleasure
0.32 to have you here in our home studio this
0.32 is so exciting for me guys it&;s been
0.32 really lovely getting to know you
0.32 through the conversation nights that you
0.32 have I&;ve been to a couple and so I&;m
0.32 really thrilled to be asked to join we
0.32 start our conversation uh nights off
0.32 with going around the circle and
0.32 everyone introducing themselves and I
0.32 remember the first time you did it you
0.32 said I&;m in this particular type of
0.32 relationship I&;m interested and cocking
0.32 and I&;m happy to talk about that tonight
0.32 and I could see people around the room
0.32 going oh my God you know this is this is
0.32 amazing first of all the honesty and the
0.32 vulnerability straight out of the gate
0.32 but it was it was so beautiful to see
0.32 and one thing that we did initially
0.32 because I saw that people within the
0.32 room maybe didn&;t actually know what
0.32 cocking was we asked if you&;d feel
0.32 comfortable sharing uh what your
0.32 definition of [ __ ] holding is so maybe
0.32 we could start our conversation today
0.32 with you telling us a little bit about
0.32 what you think cuck holding is my
0.32 definition is probably different to a
0.32 lot of people&;s uh I&;ve been involved in
0.32 this lifestyle now for about 5 years and
0.32 delving deep into sort of understanding
0.32 the cuck mind and what I have done is
0.32 paired it down to the very Basics and
0.32 for me it is a one-sided open
0.32 relationship where one partner is um
0.32 connecting with others sexually out side
0.32 of that main relationship and the other
0.32 partner is monogamous to her and they
0.32 both like it that way so that&;s sort of
0.32 in its purest form and then we&;ve got
0.32 sort of different layers to that I think
0.32 a lot of people assume that cck holding
0.32 is all about uh degradation and shame
0.32 and Chastity and a whole bunch of other
0.32 activities which yes very popular and
0.32 tend to go go hand inand with this
0.32 lifestyle but not necessarily how
0.32 everybody enacts it I see those things
0.32 as The Kinks that the individuals
0.32 involved like and so they practice um
0.32 but they it doesn&;t necessarily mean it
0.32 is a default of that Dynamic we can go a
0.32 little bit further if you like in regard
0.32 let&;s go further all the way so there&;s
0.32 cck holding and there&;s another sort of
0.32 part of the lifestyle that&;s also
0.32 becoming super popular and that&;s a hot
0.32 wiing lifestyle and so they&;re very
0.32 similar in regard and this is why I like
0.32 that sort of umbrella sort of term of
0.32 one-sided open relationship hot wiing
0.32 again one-sided open but for me and many
0.32 will disagree but what I&;ve seen is that
0.32 there is a power Dynamic difference
0.32 which is the flip side to the [ __ ] hold
0.32 in [ __ ] holding generally the
0.32 cuckoldress is the dominant and the cck
0.32 is submissive so she takes the lead she
0.32 decides who when how and in the hot wife
0.32 Dynamics generally it&;s the Stag who&;s
0.32 the male partner who tends to like to
0.32 show his partner off so he will organize
0.32 the dates he will sort of um navigate
0.32 the direction and she tends to be
0.32 submissive and wants to please him in
0.32 that way and that includes being with
0.32 other people she enjoys that but he is
0.32 kind of the dominant in that role
0.32 fascinating and with the [ __ ] holding
0.32 and the hot wiing I&;ve also heard
0.32 there&;s like cut queening as well and
0.32 hot husbanding I have met a hot husband
0.32 before so yeah can you so that&;s again
0.32 the inverse of the cockold dynamic where
0.32 so here we&;re going into that
0.32 heteronormative type conversation um
0.32 where we&;re sort of creating titles and
0.32 labels for gender specific roles and so
0.32 this is the inverse you&;ve got the
0.32 female that likes to be cucked so she&;s
0.32 the cuck Queen uh and then you&;ve got
0.32 the man who&;s the hot husband uh who
0.32 will go out and have relations with
0.32 other people we can&;t forget about the
0.32 Bulls and so we have Bulls I prefer the
0.32 term bull I think we bull I love that I
0.32 just think we all know bull but I like
0.32 to sort of humanize it these are people
0.32 um and I just feel that bull friend kind
0.32 of describes that a little bit better
0.32 and gives you an idea that they also
0.32 have an equal part in this three-way
0.32 Dynamic bull or bull friend as I said um
0.32 but for the cut queens and the hot
0.32 husbands they have
0.32 cupcakes I have friends that want to be
0.32 cupcakes just because it&;s cute to have
0.32 that title I mean that&;s a that&;s the
0.32 sweetest
0.32 title well hopefully dear listener you
0.32 are following along to all these terms
0.32 if you haven&;t heard all these terms
0.32 hopefully people are taking notes as
0.32 they listen to this podcast but I I do
0.32 Wonder so what was your entryway into
0.32 exploring these cockled Dynamics my
0.32 partner so uh I&;ve been a kingster uh
0.32 for many many years probably longer than
0.32 I even knew what that meant and when he
0.32 and I started dating about 6 years ago I
0.32 was I considered myself Polly at the
0.32 time I was seeing a woman at the time
0.32 that he was being set up with um but
0.32 weend end up together we&;re all still
0.32 very good friends and he came to me as a
0.32 submissive male we used to talk about um
0.32 those Dynamics he was looking for a
0.32 female L relationship again another one
0.32 of those things that is quite prevalent
0.32 in the cuckold communities and Dynamics
0.32 where the woman again has the power but
0.32 with a female Le relationship she&;s
0.32 taking care of everything it generally
0.32 means that she&;s the boss of everything
0.32 household decisions Financial decisions
0.32 and all the sexual decisions as well so
0.32 he was sort of looking for that I think
0.32 it was about 18 months into our
0.32 relationship that he finally admitted
0.32 that it was cuck holding that he wanted
0.32 to explore so when you both initially
0.32 met he was very upfront like Straight
0.32 Out The Gate he was like I&;m really
0.32 interested in exploring these female
0.32 Leed relationships and then over time it
0.32 kind of teased out that actually it was
0.32 a cuck old Dynamic that was was really
0.32 being looked for yeah yeah and I think
0.32 that happened because we met through
0.32 King friends so I don&;t know if he would
0.32 have been as open about it if he had met
0.32 me through as we call vanilla yes yeah
0.32 and don&;t worry I love vanilla vanilla&;s
0.32 the best
0.32 flavor um but in sort of vanilla
0.32 environments um he may not have been as
0.32 forthcoming I also think that he kind of
0.32 what&;s the word um maybe pinpointed me
0.32 as you know somebody that would be the
0.32 perfect candidate for what he&;s looking
0.32 for obviously I was you know seeing
0.32 other people and very early on in our
0.32 relationship I had said to him that if
0.32 he wanted to get serious with me if he
0.32 wanted to have a relationship with me he
0.32 would need to be open to me seeing
0.32 others I was also open for him to
0.32 explore that himself obviously with lots
0.32 of communication and conversation but he
0.32 had told me from the onset that he was
0.32 not um interested in doing that he just
0.32 didn&;t have the capacity or the desire
0.32 um to put that type of work that it
0.32 takes to connect with more than one
0.32 person but he was willing to go into
0.32 these spaces and environments holding
0.32 hands and exploring things together and
0.32 whatever I decided and whatever
0.32 Direction I took he would be willing to
0.32 engage amazing and before this point
0.32 with him were you you were already in
0.32 that King space but were you already
0.32 quite sort of aware of [ __ ] holding and
0.32 and this this particular type of
0.32 lifestyle or did you feel like you know
0.32 it was a whole new experience new new I
0.32 I was aware um I knew what it meant um
0.32 you know I had knowledge of the very
0.32 basic foundational understanding of it
0.32 but I really didn&;t know the extent of
0.32 what uh lifestyle that is or what sort
0.32 of relationship Dynamic that was so I
0.32 went deep into sort of the research and
0.32 um trying to understand the cuck mind
0.32 the psychology behind it why I mean even
0.32 though like I said I considered myself
0.32 Polly and was already open relating um
0.32 when he said that to me I kind of went
0.32 into a bit of a freakout mode of what
0.32 what what does what do you mean this
0.32 doesn&;t make sense it&;s doesn&;t seem
0.32 fair are you trying to sort of
0.32 manipulate me into some other direction
0.32 do you want to sleep with other people
0.32 and this is your way of and I don&;t know
0.32 why that freaked me out because I was
0.32 already open to it but just because of
0.32 the way he approached it it was so
0.32 foreign and so bizarre to me that I it
0.32 really took me quite some time to wrap
0.32 my head around it there was also other
0.32 sort of insecurities that popped up for
0.32 me like why do you want me to be with
0.32 other people do you not want to be with
0.32 me am I not good enough are you not
0.32 happy with our sex life um so it did
0.32 kind of um prompt me to sort of delve
0.32 into it a little bit more and to start
0.32 to understand but once I understood that
0.32 he gets pleasure out of my pleasure yes
0.32 there&;s a lot of compersion in cck
0.32 holding um then I was comfortable to
0.32 move forward and engage with it it&;s an
0.32 interesting cross-section as well
0.32 especially when you&;re coming from that
0.32 polyamorous mindset which is so about
0.32 we&;re equal or like you&;re dating and
0.32 I&;m dating and I want you to have those
0.32 connections and you want me to have
0.32 those connections and we&;re sort of you
0.32 know supporting each other through that
0.32 landscape but to then have this other
0.32 Dynamic at play it would almost be I
0.32 imagine it&;s it&;s a little bit of
0.32 rewiring but also coming back to that it
0.32 doesn&;t need to be equal but it&;s you
0.32 know this is about equity and it&;s about
0.32 you know we all have different needs and
0.32 desires it really comes down to that
0.32 creating that relationship that works
0.32 for the two of you based on your own
0.32 needs and your own desires and your own
0.32 Pleasures 100% yeah that Equity part
0.32 especially I think I always talk about
0.32 this as when people just don&;t it&;s like
0.32 what&;s in it for him you know you&;re
0.32 getting all the play and all the
0.32 connection but what does he get and I
0.32 sort of liken it to if you&;re a sweet
0.32 tooth and you like cake and I&;m not so
0.32 much I&;m definitely a Savory girl I&;m
0.32 you know you&;re we&;re going to have a
0.32 piece of cake and I&;m going to cut it so
0.32 that I get a little taste cuz I just
0.32 want a little taste but um you&;ll get
0.32 the rest of that piece and everyone&;s
0.32 happy it&;s it&;s fair it ends up being
0.32 that everyone is actually getting what
0.32 they want Even though to the outside
0.32 world it looks like hey you&;re taking
0.32 all of the cake yeah it does break down
0.32 kind of the the notion about you know
0.32 kind of sexual energy and where it comes
0.32 from because for him I imagine a lot of
0.32 the sexual energy comes from your
0.32 experiences that are happening outside
0.32 of him uh you know he doesn&;t have to be
0.32 present necessarily for these
0.32 experiences but he is still feeling a
0.32 huge amount of Sexual Energy because of
0.32 that compersion because of all the
0.32 different emotions that that&;s playing
0.32 with so initially when he came and and
0.32 spoke to you about cocking and he said
0.32 look this is actually something and you
0.32 said it was kind of a little bit into
0.32 your relationship I imagine for him that
0.32 would have been a really delicate
0.32 conversation to have with you because
0.32 obviously you&;ve already started like
0.32 this beautiful relationship and that it
0.32 does even though that you you are in a
0.32 kink kind of mindset and you did come
0.32 from a kink background there is a a deep
0.32 vulnerability in sharing with your
0.32 partner actually I&;m into something that
0.32 has a lot of stigma around it I feel
0.32 like cocking as a fetish there is a lot
0.32 of stigma around it so when he brought
0.32 this conversation up to you was he
0.32 really nervous about having that
0.32 conversation with you even though you
0.32 obviously are very
0.32 open-minded that is um yeah yeah so it
0.32 wasn&;t a conversation that&;s how much I
0.32 think a stigma this lifestyle is he was
0.32 so nervous about sharing that that he
0.32 actually sent me an email to divulge his
0.32 desires and to explain to me where it
0.32 may come from from for him um and it was
0.32 an email he sent to mistress which is
0.32 our DS Dynamic at the time love
0.32 it so he yeah he basically wrote it out
0.32 and I still to this day remember um at
0.32 the very end um I get a little bit
0.32 confused I think it was uh divulge
0.32 provide all the information this is
0.32 something I&;d like to explore with you
0.32 and then uh signed off with and now
0.32 breathe M wow yeah I think that&;s such a
0.32 beautiful way to go about it because he
0.32 can he can share his thoughts and his
0.32 desires with you but then also doesn&;t
0.32 have to witness your response in real
0.32 time I think there&;s a real Beauty and
0.32 it&;s it&;s like it&;s a beautiful generous
0.32 way to just give that information and
0.32 then just let it be so that you can
0.32 process think about it and also that
0.32 you&;re not then rushed to sort of
0.32 immediately say yes of course you can
0.32 sort of take that time to go well what
0.32 does this mean and what would this mean
0.32 for me and and for us and how would this
0.32 change you know for me it was very much
0.32 oh my God this now makes sense um all
0.32 the pieces of the puzzle are starting to
0.32 go into place because I kind of had an
0.32 idea that this is what he wanted and in
0.32 fact I think by that stage I had already
0.32 realized but I didn&;t want to push that
0.32 and I was just waiting for him to come
0.32 to me with it rather than just forcing
0.32 it out of him um because there were many
0.32 times from the beginning where he would
0.32 share you know podcasts or articles or
0.32 you know blogs on C holding and so he
0.32 would then say have a read of this isn&;t
0.32 it interesting what do you think about
0.32 that and we&;d have a bit of a
0.32 conversation and I would say I probably
0.32 would have a lot of questions after
0.32 these things and I would be saying you
0.32 know that like everybody else that
0.32 doesn&;t seem fair what do you mean and
0.32 so that could have potentially um sto
0.32 him sharing uh even further with me at
0.32 the beginning until he felt more
0.32 comfortable and understood that I would
0.32 have been more open to exploring it so
0.32 he was kind of like breadcrumbing you
0.32 right right until the thing and then
0.32 when the email came you you had to kind
0.32 of act surprised you&;re like oh actually
0.32 oh I guess I I didn&;t see this coming no
0.32 I was a Bach I was like I knew it um I
0.32 knew it but it was really nice to
0.32 actually finally hear it and to have
0.32 that confirmed um for me everything and
0.32 the way I engage with everybody&;s
0.32 consent based and so I needed to hear
0.32 that I needed to get the um green flag
0.32 for him to say okay I&;m ready and let&;s
0.32 you know start discussing this and how
0.32 we&;re going to engage with it and I
0.32 imagine it&;s one of those things as well
0.32 where when you&;re getting to know each
0.32 other and you&;re getting to know each
0.32 other&;s Dynamics you know it&;s not like
0.32 [ __ ] holding is just this one size fits
0.32 all type of cuck holding like you Google
0.32 it that&;s the image that&;s what we must
0.32 want it&;s like he&;s getting to know you
0.32 and you&;re getting to know him so
0.32 there&;s a beauty in like letting it just
0.32 unfold naturally where you&;re getting to
0.32 know each other so that when it gets to
0.32 the point of sharing and then saying
0.32 well what could this look like for you
0.32 or you know what would you want or what
0.32 would I want you have a better
0.32 understanding of each other and you can
0.32 create something together because I
0.32 imagine it would be an incredibly
0.32 creative way to connect 100% And
0.32 interestingly enough we&;re still at that
0.32 stage you know I think with Kinks um
0.32 it&;s a NeverEnding journey and so as
0.32 I&;ve heard you both speak about even
0.32 with your open relating where you get to
0.32 a certain point where you might have
0.32 some insecurities and hesitancies about
0.32 doing something and then you live
0.32 through it and you experience something
0.32 and then you&;re like okay I&;m okay with
0.32 that part now what sort of what else can
0.32 we do what where else can we take it so
0.32 it&;s I can&;t see this ever really
0.32 getting boring or slowing down it&;s just
0.32 a constant New Direction and more
0.32 Discovery and more depth of connection
0.32 so he sent the email and you received it
0.32 you acted a little bit surprised and
0.32 then what where does it go from there
0.32 because it it&;s often one thing to have
0.32 these like really hot fantasies about
0.32 these different fetishes uh but then to
0.32 actually make them a reality sometimes
0.32 they don&;t necessarily translate and
0.32 sometimes the fantasy stays best as a
0.32 fantasy correct so so what made you both
0.32 decide to actually explore it in real
0.32 life I think we were already engaging in
0.32 some of the activities that can uh come
0.32 as part of the cut holding so um we were
0.32 engaging in things like Chastity and
0.32 denial and um that sort of uh female Le
0.32 uh relationship so there was times when
0.32 he would feel like I&;m not getting my
0.32 needs met you know if he&;s in chody for
0.32 extended periods then how am I getting
0.32 any gratification where do I get my
0.32 sexual needs met and so um it&;s these
0.32 conversations about what that might look
0.32 like for me what am I wanting to do how
0.32 am I going to explore it and I guess
0.32 then there was that moment of okay where
0.32 am I at now what do I want and um it
0.32 becomes a real journey for me the
0.32 cuckoldress hot wife in finding yourself
0.32 and in finding your confidence again and
0.32 it&;s been a real I guess yeah confidence
0.32 Builder um where I have really been able
0.32 to explore and journey and have this
0.32 support of almost a cheer leader that&;s
0.32 by your side um who&;s relying on you to
0.32 sort of take them on a journey um but
0.32 it&;s through your um needs and your
0.32 desires um I think I felt safer in going
0.32 out and meeting people and I&;ve been
0.32 more levelheaded about my kind of open
0.32 relating too because I have this partner
0.32 at home that I can always come back to
0.32 and I can talk about anything and I can
0.32 vent to and it&;s safe and it&;s home and
0.32 it&;s comfortable and they&;re there as a
0.32 support and so it&;s self-discovery um
0.32 and then the conversations and then
0.32 little baby steps of trying it out I do
0.32 know people that sort of jump into it
0.32 and just Full Speed Ahead and boy it
0.32 take it&;s very very rare that somebody&;s
0.32 going to be able to manage all of the
0.32 sort of emotions and difficulties and
0.32 hit roadblocks and um have a healthy
0.32 kind of experience um so for me it&;s
0.32 always been about those little baby
0.32 steps and it&;s also what makes it
0.32 exciting your it&;s it&;s if you look at
0.32 this lifestyle as a journey every little
0.32 step brings another level of excitement
0.32 another additional sort of thing to work
0.32 through and um connect on and um it
0.32 continues on people do think that um
0.32 kolding is all about you being with
0.32 other people and having sex with all
0.32 these people but really the lifestyle
0.32 the loving cuckold relationship um
0.32 because I think there&;s different ways
0.32 to engage with [ __ ] holding and
0.32 hotwifing people think it&;s all about
0.32 that but it&;s all about the things
0.32 behind the scenes it&;s the little it&;s
0.32 the conversations it&;s the buildup to
0.32 all of these things it&;s the
0.32 reconnecting after going out and being
0.32 with someone it&;s them seeing you well
0.32 for me because I guess mine is a little
0.32 bit of a blend of polyamory um as well
0.32 as [ __ ] holding because I do tend to
0.32 connect um on an emotional level as well
0.32 I do have casual um play but I do tend
0.32 to feel more comfortable to have someone
0.32 that I grow a more sort of emotional
0.32 connection with and depth um as a
0.32 kingster um that&;s a place where you
0.32 need to feel safe and respected and um
0.32 get to know someone to explore those
0.32 facets deep more deeply M and so um yeah
0.32 for me it&;s it&;s um having that person
0.32 that I can talk to and um share these
0.32 experiences with and um that kind of
0.32 also ground me um but hold me and keep
0.32 me safe and secure I&;m really interested
0.32 to hear more about the [ __ ] mindset yeah
0.32 that you&;ve mentioned of course you know
0.32 there would be so many different [ __ ]
0.32 mindsets you know every [ __ ] I&;m sure
0.32 would be so different but with your
0.32 explanation or with your sorry
0.32 Explorations what what sort of comes up
0.32 for you when you when you think of the
0.32 [ __ ] mindset there&;s different ways that
0.32 a lot of people approach it
0.32 unfortunately when you look up [ __ ]
0.32 holding it&;s better these days it&;s
0.32 changed a lot over the last sort of even
0.32 five years but 10 years um if you look
0.32 up cck holding or hot wiing nine out of
0.32 10 times you&;re going to be directed to
0.32 some pornographic content and it&;s
0.32 unreal and it&;s not how people engage
0.32 when they&;re in the lifestyle
0.32 um what I have noticed is that there&;s
0.32 probably three different ways people
0.32 engage with it you have the lifestylers
0.32 and they are people who live this as
0.32 their dynamic as their relationship
0.32 style um it&;s the basis of how they
0.32 connect and how they um it&;s their
0.32 relationship it&;s their relationship
0.32 then you have people who use it as um a
0.32 form of play so it will come up a lot of
0.32 swingers tend to to kind of go um and
0.32 and say okay well tonight I&;d like for
0.32 you I&;d like just to watch I want to be
0.32 able to sort of use cockold as a play um
0.32 for the night for a weekend for whatever
0.32 and then there&;s the fantasy of it and
0.32 um where a lot of people find that
0.32 exciting and it&;s something that they
0.32 might even talk about in the bedroom but
0.32 they will never actually take it that to
0.32 that next step and connect with other
0.32 people and so you would see your S as
0.32 within the kind of Lifestyle approach to
0.32 to cocking yeah absolutely um it is our
0.32 Dynamic it&;s um something that is the
0.32 foundation of how we live so it&;s always
0.32 there um it&;s like an omnipresence it&;s
0.32 an omnipresence yeah um I I don&;t know
0.32 if many people realize and maybe people
0.32 might start looking now but there are
0.32 signs that you can tell um where someone
0.32 is available tell us what&;s the what are
0.32 the signs the signs so you may notice I
0.32 am wearing an anklet I didn&;t even
0.32 notice okay okay we&;re noticing now so
0.32 generally an anklet is a symbol of a hot
0.32 wife or a cuckoldress that means she&;s
0.32 available to play with other people so
0.32 um those are sort of the little nuances
0.32 that you have between a couple um that&;s
0.32 something that he has gifted me um as a
0.32 promise to me that he will support me it
0.32 makes me think of uh you know the upside
0.32 down pineapple you know that like you
0.32 know that hilarious I don&;t even know if
0.32 it&;s actually true if it actually
0.32 happens but people kind of like walking
0.32 around the supermarket with upside down
0.32 pineapples and I have seen some people
0.32 not long ago I saw someone with a a
0.32 pineapple tattoo and I did ask them I
0.32 said do you know what that means and
0.32 they said no I just love pineapples and
0.32 I thought I thought M you&;re you&;re
0.32 going to get yourself into some trouble
0.32 I think but okay so so I think now
0.32 there&;s probably going to be a lot of
0.32 listeners to podcast looking for ankle
0.32 ankle bracelets correct yeah so it&;s
0.32 often on the right ankle I don&;t think
0.32 there&;s any real kind of
0.32 um way of going about it but
0.32 predominantly worn on the right um she
0.32 may have a little key hang hanging off
0.32 it um and that&;s another one so you
0.32 might find um you&;ll see someone with a
0.32 key on the necklace again not
0.32 necessarily [ __ ] holding but it&;s a uh
0.32 symbol of them having someone in Chast
0.32 they&;re locked up but yes it does tend
0.32 to go hand inand so with those sorts of
0.32 things it&;s always there um when we&;re
0.32 out and about it&;s not like we&;re like
0.32 I&;m always out looking for you know
0.32 connections but um there&;s flutatious
0.32 moments there&;s the whisper of um
0.32 something I might notice or he might
0.32 even point something out to me he&;ll
0.32 he&;s often saying oh look she&;s got an
0.32 anklet do you think maybe they&;re into
0.32 that um so it is the way that we operate
0.32 engage connect yeah I&;m imagining lots
0.32 of in jokes lots of yeah little Whispers
0.32 lots of you know I mean I&;m not sure I&;m
0.32 not in your relationship but you know
0.32 maybe you know well you better watch out
0.32 because look over there you know I&;ve
0.32 got my eye on him like is it that sort
0.32 of
0.32 absolutely which makes me think a little
0.32 bit um you know in [ __ ] holding
0.32 something that can come to mind for
0.32 people is like the humiliation aspect as
0.32 well to [ __ ] holding would you like to
0.32 speak to that again very prevalent in
0.32 the dynamic um especially carold
0.32 compared to the hot wiing with the hot
0.32 wiing the uh situation days usually the
0.32 guy um would it&;s about showing off it&;s
0.32 about um you know um making her the
0.32 center of attention and it&;s kind of a
0.32 Bravado whereas with the cuck holding
0.32 it&;s comes from a place of sometimes
0.32 feeling like they might not be able to
0.32 satisfy their partner in the way that
0.32 their partner needs whether that be
0.32 because of physicalities or whether it&;s
0.32 just that Dynamic for example for my uh
0.32 partner and myself he&;s a submissive
0.32 male particularly in the bedroom and so
0.32 if I want to have a sexual experience
0.32 where I have a dominant partner that&;s
0.32 not something he can provide for me and
0.32 so to a level that can bring on a level
0.32 of Shame um but that shame creates that
0.32 [ __ ] angst that amplifies that Sexual
0.32 Energy and the connection between us so
0.32 the degradation can vary from um
0.32 anything as little is just little
0.32 teasing as you mentioned um right
0.32 through to some pretty hardcore um
0.32 things that some people um might engage
0.32 in it&;s not a default it&;s not
0.32 necessarily a part of Co holding but it
0.32 tends to sort of mainstream thinks it is
0.32 so that can be quite tricky when um
0.32 seeking for play Partners I try not to
0.32 put that I&;m looking for a bull or you
0.32 know that I&;m in a cuckle dynamic
0.32 because instantly um you&;ll get guys
0.32 coming in saying oh I&;m going to you
0.32 know treat your partner like this and
0.32 they start becoming um dominant over the
0.32 both of us stay away buddy that&;s not
0.32 your job you don&;t get to talk to my
0.32 partner like that you need to come in
0.32 with some respect and understanding um
0.32 so there&;s a lot of confusion out there
0.32 about that degradation piece it is
0.32 prevalent however not necessary and so
0.32 what about the connection or the
0.32 relationships between your partner and
0.32 your bull friends so we&;ve just said
0.32 they can&;t come in you know dominating
0.32 and you know having a bit of arrogant
0.32 bravado or whatnot you know towards your
0.32 partner but is there any sort of contact
0.32 connection friendship what does it look
0.32 like for you guys good question
0.32 there is and there isn&;t um at this
0.32 stage of where we&;re at he is someone
0.32 that doesn&;t want to he doesn&;t need to
0.32 be there to watch again another sort of
0.32 thing that most people think is the norm
0.32 it&;s like oh he&;s going to be there he&;s
0.32 going no tied up in the corner on the
0.32 chair for to watch yeah absolutely not
0.32 not for us um potentially could end up
0.32 there at some point but he&;s very much
0.32 involved in my getting ready um and um
0.32 helping me prepare for um my dates he
0.32 will often drive me there and pick me up
0.32 um again give me that extra level of
0.32 security and safety he has met some of
0.32 the people that I have played with I now
0.32 have a boyfriend they have met but we
0.32 don&;t hang out we don&;t have um that
0.32 type of connection maybe at some point
0.32 it&;s a conversation we&;ve had that we
0.32 may go there he&;s just not ready um so
0.32 we move at his Pace I tend to get a bit
0.32 more excited and want to for me you know
0.32 kitchen table Polly is kind of the dream
0.32 um and having that kind of connection
0.32 with whether it&;s my boyfriends um
0.32 particularly if I am having a
0.32 relationship with someone but with my
0.32 casual connections he doesn&;t even yeah
0.32 doesn&;t make them or anything like that
0.32 do do you find that for him when you
0.32 discuss it after the fact and and after
0.32 he has met some of your bull friends
0.32 does he find that that increases the
0.32 eroticism for him or does it actually
0.32 does it not impact on how erotic he
0.32 finds you know what&;s happening away
0.32 from you know what he can actually see I
0.32 would love to ask that question to him
0.32 yeah what I do see is especially right
0.32 after the fact if I&;ve gone out on a
0.32 date if I&;ve had some time with someone
0.32 else how
0.32 um accommodating he is he&;s he likes to
0.32 listen he wants to hear he my happiness
0.32 is just brings him so much joy I do
0.32 believe it does bring him um that kind
0.32 of added sexual um energy really that is
0.32 to me the difference between an open
0.32 relationship and a cuckle dynamic you
0.32 can be in a polyamorous relationship an
0.32 open what the any other non- monogamous
0.32 relationship where one person is non-
0.32 monogamous and one is
0.32 um it doesn&;t mean that&;s a cut cold
0.32 Dynamic what makes it cut cold is the
0.32 fact that that other person gets that
0.32 sexual gratification out of your
0.32 engagement with others yeah it&;s
0.32 different to Monopoly yeah and so with
0.32 your bull
0.32 friends um or like your current
0.32 boyfriend at what point did you tell him
0.32 that you were in this Dynamic do you
0.32 sort of wait until you&;re you know you
0.32 get to know each other and you&;ve got
0.32 that trust there or is it something that
0.32 you feel like you want to share sort of
0.32 Straight Out The Gate yeah it varies
0.32 definitely so I tend to travel a lot for
0.32 work and lots of opportunities there&;s
0.32 opportunities to connect with others and
0.32 if I&;m not exhausted at the end of the
0.32 day I will often um organize a date and
0.32 for me that&;s a fun time to just explore
0.32 and have some fun it&;s usually a drink
0.32 or dinner and even that doesn&;t mean
0.32 it&;s necessarily going to go further
0.32 um but when it does fun and I don&;t
0.32 necessarily have to tell those people
0.32 anything I will tell them I&;m in an open
0.32 relationship and that&;s because of the
0.32 way that they treat me I guess there&;s
0.32 there and I don&;t want to spend that
0.32 night explaining My Lifestyle so they
0.32 don&;t notice the the anklet they don&;t
0.32 understand what it is they they may
0.32 notice it oh b a beautiful piece of
0.32 jewelry exactly exactly however if I&;m
0.32 um dating with my current boyfriend I
0.32 believe I told him on the first date
0.32 just because we had this incredible
0.32 chemistry there was a lot of
0.32 vulnerability between us a lot of
0.32 openness and so I could sort of feel for
0.32 what is right I do like to provide that
0.32 information pretty early on but if I&;m
0.32 seeking those connections I&;m kind of
0.32 seeking someone who wants to explore
0.32 that um so that&;s why I will divulge
0.32 early on in the piece so usually sort of
0.32 dating already within that King space as
0.32 well do you feel like if you looking to
0.32 sort of date somebody and have it be
0.32 they you know they&;ll become your
0.32 regular partner your regular boyfriend
0.32 You&; probably look to find them more in
0.32 that in that Kink yeah I will tend to
0.32 look for someone who&;s dominant yes um
0.32 and then kind of see where that grows to
0.32 organically I will then bring up things
0.32 I will then start the breadcrumbing and
0.32 be like hey have you heard of and what
0.32 do you think of it and what do you
0.32 understand this means and then that will
0.32 go into conversation and that&;s where I
0.32 guess I&;ll open up a little bit more if
0.32 you enjoying this episode of the
0.32 evolving love podcast we invite you to
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0.32 substack
0.32 docomo type of like cockled
0.32 relationships there&;s a lot of ways in
0.32 which people might presume Chastity
0.32 looks but within your relationship how
0.32 did you CU you said you were kind of
0.32 experimenting with kind of chassity and
0.32 denial before you had those cockled
0.32 conversations so what did that look like
0.32 before and then after you&;d had those
0.32 cocking conversations oo I guess the
0.32 difference well maybe I should explain
0.32 sort of how we engage with it um first
0.32 and that is it can very dependent on
0.32 where my mindset is um we will engage
0.32 with it maybe just as a part of play for
0.32 an afternoon evening a weekend um and
0.32 other times it might be for a prolonged
0.32 period of time we&;ve played with it
0.32 where it has um lasted for over 2 months
0.32 of wow amazing his eyes just went wide
0.32 opened up really wide um that really is
0.32 something that
0.32 impacts the psychology of the cck but it
0.32 also creates something in me where I get
0.32 there&;s a level of power that you get in
0.32 controlling somebody&;s um orgasm or
0.32 sexuality
0.32 and um it&;s a really fun dance and play
0.32 that extends outside of the bedroom um
0.32 and can go on for a long period of time
0.32 so that hasn&;t changed but I guess what
0.32 has changed is what I would tease him
0.32 about at the beginning um when there
0.32 wasn&;t other people involved um to the
0.32 kinds of things I might tease him about
0.32 during now where I am seeing other
0.32 people
0.32 um so it&;s just the dialogue I guess and
0.32 the way we engage with the banter
0.32 between us and so functionally speaking
0.32 is this are cages involved chassity
0.32 cages involved yes so oh there&;s so much
0.32 to chity that could be a whole episode
0.32 of its own um but yes so essentially you
0.32 would um put a cage on the genitals of
0.32 your partner you can say penis it&;s all
0.32 right it&;s not a it&;s not a PG podcast
0.32 that&;s all right we can we can get a
0.32 little bit more exp up okay there we go
0.32 and you get to hold the key and you can
0.32 for us at the moment probably one of the
0.32 ways we really enjoy it is that if I am
0.32 going to go on a date um that&;s kind of
0.32 what happens is part of me getting ready
0.32 and walking out the door is okay it&;s
0.32 coming on and I&;m going to wear the key
0.32 and for me it&;s a really big um exciting
0.32 part because when I&;m with someone else
0.32 staying in that culous mindset is being
0.32 in the moment and um that weight of that
0.32 key is just a reminder and there&;s a
0.32 connection to um my partner at the time
0.32 and so when I&;m coming home back to him
0.32 the conversation is there with how much
0.32 he was actually still a part of it even
0.32 though he wasn&;t um physically present
0.32 so the denial part on an extended period
0.32 of where um there is probably within the
0.32 first 12 hours I noticed a difference in
0.32 his demeanor um in his way that he
0.32 relates to me by the end of the first
0.32 week that&;s there&;s a big shift the
0.32 focus um in him to get things done he
0.32 becomes a lot more motivated he becomes
0.32 a lot more subservient there&;s a lot
0.32 more um doting from him towards me and
0.32 he&;s a lot more agreeable um it&;s really
0.32 quite fascinating what happens and I
0.32 would recommend um people engage in
0.32 Chastity whether they&;re in a coak
0.32 dynamic or not um just to experiment of
0.32 what that does to your connection and it
0.32 can be a really interesting um
0.32 experiment to to figure out who you are
0.32 and it can really just teach you about
0.32 yourself and how you operate when you
0.32 have that dependency taken away from you
0.32 it&;s fascinating and so would he be
0.32 wearing this cage you know it outside of
0.32 the home oh yeah okay so it&;s
0.32 24/7 if we&;re doing an extended so for
0.32 the two-month kind of Journey that you
0.32 went on that was like a he was going to
0.32 work he was doing the whole thing he was
0.32 hanging out with friends he was catching
0.32 up with family and no one knew is he
0.32 allowed to take it off at different
0.32 times no no it stays on it stays on
0.32 there is uh considerations obviously
0.32 like hygiene we have found um with
0.32 certain types of cages and I won&;t go
0.32 into all the specifics but you know
0.32 metal cages they you&;re able to actually
0.32 have a better level of hygiene and not
0.32 have to have to take it off at all he
0.32 sleeps in it it&;s 24/7 a lot of people
0.32 will have
0.32 um uh rituals where they will um do a
0.32 cleaning um and it will have to be under
0.32 supervision and it goes straight back on
0.32 once everything is dried up and you can
0.32 put it back on and so that it doesn&;t
0.32 seem like there&;s been an interruption
0.32 so yeah it keeps you in that um mindset
0.32 and nothing changes also when you&;re out
0.32 on a date just being in that chassity
0.32 being in that cage would be such a
0.32 beautiful point of connection to knowing
0.32 that you are coming back because you
0.32 have the key correct you know hopefully
0.32 otherwise that could be an awkward trip
0.32 to Bunnings to try and like get some get
0.32 some pliers to get the get the Cassidy
0.32 cage has the key ever been lost no no
0.32 yeah no um I do keep spares I always
0.32 have a spare um we play a little bit
0.32 more risky than most if he travels for
0.32 work obviously not by plane I was going
0.32 to say going through the the metal
0.32 detector surely that&;s going to be a and
0.32 it doesn&;t even have to be metal these
0.32 days it&;s um a lot of those x-ray uh
0.32 airport detectors now are on a solid U
0.32 bulky thing now so um it&;s not even
0.32 necessarily metal they&;ll pick up uh
0.32 silicon plastic that makes for an
0.32 awkward conversation of Customs yeah
0.32 exactly and again as we base everything
0.32 on consent um I would not put someone I
0.32 wouldn&;t put a staff member at an
0.32 airport through that because this is our
0.32 play this is our activity and it&;s not
0.32 for anyone else to um you know I
0.32 wouldn&;t to me that&;s not consensual
0.32 even if it was your partner&;s Kink to be
0.32 sort of exposed in that way the the
0.32 other people
0.32 you have to know someone who works at
0.32 the airport so if anyone&;s listening to
0.32 this who works who works at the airport
0.32 who wants to get involved in a really
0.32 hot
0.32 fantasy okay to my mind it brings up
0.32 some really interesting like this whole
0.32 kind of you being a [ __ ] Oris brings up
0.32 a lot of really interesting kind of
0.32 emotional things that you have to
0.32 navigate as well because I imagine
0.32 there&;s a kind of increased sense of of
0.32 weight of when you go out on these dates
0.32 you&;re not only thinking about yourself
0.32 enjoying the but you also have to devote
0.32 bandwidth to what&;s happening with him
0.32 so does that ever become something
0.32 that&;s difficult to kind of carry
0.32 because it does like there is this
0.32 perception even in DS dynamics of of the
0.32 dominant just kind of only caring about
0.32 themselves and it&;s all about the
0.32 dominance pleasure but actually you&;re
0.32 doing kind of double the work because
0.32 you&;re not only worried about your
0.32 pleasure in the moment with this bull
0.32 friend but you&;re also worried about
0.32 whoever&;s at at home yeah I would have
0.32 to say the hot wife cut cess probably
0.32 has the biggest responsibility in um and
0.32 it is it&;s a it&;s a big weight to carry
0.32 um however for me I really enjoy that
0.32 kind of having him involved even if he&;s
0.32 not involved um it adds to my sexual
0.32 gratification there are moments where
0.32 I&;ve been with somebody and um just you
0.32 know touching my key and then having
0.32 that moment of remembering that he&;s
0.32 sitting at home in a cage and I&;m with
0.32 somebody else adds to it and it it in it
0.32 heightens my pleasure so taboo so taboo
0.32 so taboo exactly this Dynamic is
0.32 probably the most complex even though
0.32 you have for example non monogamous
0.32 relationships and they can be very
0.32 complicated as you know um you&;re you&;re
0.32 talking to your partners husbands you&;re
0.32 talking to your lovers um your na gating
0.32 schedules you know and your sort of
0.32 normal life this has that added layer of
0.32 the um sexual charge across all of the
0.32 connections it&;s a three-way um I think
0.32 one of the things we haven&;t spoken much
0.32 about is the involvement of the bull and
0.32 what they bring into this play as well
0.32 so there is a big difference between a
0.32 boyfriend and just a casual sexual
0.32 encounter M um they&;re playing into the
0.32 psychology of that dynamic as well um so
0.32 for them to come in they need to
0.32 understand what your Dynamic looks like
0.32 and how it differs from the other people
0.32 they may have had similar connections
0.32 with what is it that pleases you which
0.32 how much do they engage with the cuck um
0.32 do they engage with the cuck is there
0.32 going to be that sort of degradation
0.32 component is there going to be um
0.32 conversations between them I have
0.32 friends that are in the lifestyle and
0.32 the cuck will have full conversations
0.32 and um
0.32 organize um meetups and talk about what
0.32 they might need for that particular date
0.32 you know do you want me to organize a
0.32 hotel room for the two of you would you
0.32 like me to uh make sure there&;s wine you
0.32 know what type do you like red do you
0.32 like white you know that sort of stuff
0.32 becomes an expensive fetish at that
0.32 point certainly can be um but so it&;s
0.32 it&;s it can be very complicated um but
0.32 it&;s when it all comes together it it&;s
0.32 just extra and it&;s magic and it&;s
0.32 really beautiful and so with some of the
0.32 complexities and the Dynamics so with
0.32 your bull friends your partner you know
0.32 they would be more dominant they&;re the
0.32 already that more dominant man does that
0.32 mean in that role you&;re then you fall
0.32 into being a little bit bit more
0.32 submissive with them whilst also being
0.32 dominant to your [ __ ] are you sort of
0.32 are you juggling two different Dynamics
0.32 yes in the one energetic moment even if
0.32 your cock&;s not there yes absolutely I&;m
0.32 lucky I&;m a
0.32 switch uh I do uh tend to struggle with
0.32 surrendering to my submissive side that
0.32 as a dominant woman and I tend to lean
0.32 more to uh being dominant um in the king
0.32 space and in real life I know what
0.32 someone in my position can do to someone
0.32 else in regards to damage physically
0.32 emotionally mentally spiritually um and
0.32 so it&;s very rare that I&;ll feel
0.32 comfortable enough to allow someone to
0.32 take me on that journey and so it&;s
0.32 really hard to find and so yes it can
0.32 happen but that will generally be with
0.32 one of my boyfriend SLB friends with
0.32 play Partners casual play Partners I
0.32 should mention it&;s probably not
0.32 something that I will engage in um just
0.32 because I tend to want to feel safe and
0.32 it&;s more neutral more neutral with cuck
0.32 holding obviously the kind of right end
0.32 of the political Spectrum now we&;ve got
0.32 the kind of misappropriation of the word
0.32 cuck and people use it as kind of this
0.32 negative like oh they&;re such a cuck as
0.32 though it&;s like really degrading you
0.32 know it doesn&;t carry the weight the
0.32 sexual weight that that you would see
0.32 the word carrying
0.32 but I&;m interested in how Society views
0.32 this kind of fetish of [ __ ] holding
0.32 because even when we were having this
0.32 conversation you know with all our
0.32 guests we go you know do you feel
0.32 comfortable being on camera are you
0.32 happy for us to to kind of make it
0.32 public and of course when people say oh
0.32 you know I&;d rather not be on camera
0.32 that&;s totally fine I know we had the
0.32 episode with Lena dun who&;s uh or ask a
0.32 sub and she&;s a 247 submissive and her
0.32 whole Persona is kind of behind this
0.32 Avatar that she uses to kind of hide her
0.32 identity and when we asked you you said
0.32 oh you know I don&;t feel comfortable
0.32 sharing my face and of course that&;s
0.32 totally fine but I wonder why is cuck
0.32 holding such Why does it carry so much
0.32 stigma of all the fetishes you know
0.32 there&;s so many fetishes that are kind
0.32 of celebrated you can be into Kink you
0.32 can be into different sorts of BDSM but
0.32 as soon as it comes to cocking there&;s
0.32 this added layer of of uh of stigma
0.32 around it yeah so true then I would go
0.32 further as to say that even though I&;ve
0.32 been a kingster for such a long time I
0.32 didn&;t know much about the cut cold uh
0.32 dynamic because even there it&;s not
0.32 something that is prevalent um and I&;m
0.32 wondering whether it&;s for these reasons
0.32 I think um as you say the it is a
0.32 derogatory term um I think as a society
0.32 we tend to still to this day think of
0.32 men as the Alpha as you know the boss as
0.32 somebody who um you know that&;s it&;s
0.32 their masculinity that&;s being attacked
0.32 for me a [ __ ] is someone who actually is
0.32 probably more in touch with their
0.32 masculine and has the confidence and
0.32 intelligence especially emotional
0.32 intelligence to be able to surrender to
0.32 this experience so for me I see them as
0.32 very
0.32 strong intelligent devotional wonderful
0.32 humans um but unfortunately Society
0.32 doesn&;t understand I think society&;s
0.32 watching porn and they look at what&;s
0.32 out there and it&;s like this SNES little
0.32 pathetic you know guy who&;s basically
0.32 being told what to do and discarded and
0.32 almost like an animal um in porn it&;s
0.32 dehumanizing and it&;s
0.32 very derogatory so when people don&;t
0.32 understand something and that&;s kind of
0.32 what how it&;s painted in general Society
0.32 it&;s seen as someone who&;s less than and
0.32 lower than and I think cucks in general
0.32 are quite proud of who they are they&;re
0.32 already dealing with a lot of Shame
0.32 people generally who are exploring Kinks
0.32 tend to have to deal with a lot of that
0.32 anyway this one extra and so it&;s not
0.32 something you can go out and say hey
0.32 this is my Kink because the connotations
0.32 are is that you&;re this pathetic fool um
0.32 and that you&;re you know being used and
0.32 abused by your partner and so not only
0.32 is it them that&;s being seen as in a
0.32 negative light all a sudden as yeah
0.32 exactly exactly I&;m then through that
0.32 it&;s seeing me as and let&;s you know
0.32 talk about women [ __ ] shaming and you
0.32 know so that&;s another level that gets
0.32 um attacked as well so
0.32 unfortunately um when people don&;t
0.32 understand something they tend to fear
0.32 it and therefore um they will put it
0.32 down and um so have you been able to
0.32 have conversations with people outside
0.32 of the Kink scene about your cold
0.32 relationship yes I have you have H I
0.32 have look the kink of my life and the
0.32 BDSM sort of exploration has been a huge
0.32 part of who I am today it&;s taught me a
0.32 lot about human nature and relating and
0.32 what I&;m capable of it&;s really given me
0.32 a lot of confidence it&;s who I am and so
0.32 for me my friends that are truly my
0.32 friends will know exactly who I am
0.32 whether they&;re engag in this sort of
0.32 stuff or not and so they will often ask
0.32 me questions I will be open I will be
0.32 honest but it&;s not something that I
0.32 will instigate if they come to me for
0.32 advice or we&;re having conversations
0.32 around relationships or certain subjects
0.32 that I think my learnings from this
0.32 world can provide some insights then I
0.32 will speak about it and I think there&;s
0.32 a difference between talking about those
0.32 influences and actually sharing what I
0.32 do in the bedroom and so it really
0.32 really opens up people&;s minds um my
0.32 again vanilla friends will often say to
0.32 me why are we not taught these things
0.32 why isn&;t this sort of common knowledge
0.32 you have so much insight as to the way
0.32 people relate with each other you know
0.32 and um how things are played out in the
0.32 world this should be more common and so
0.32 It&;s Tricky um I love having the double
0.32 life I think it&;s really important to
0.32 have one foot in sort of everyday normal
0.32 society we live on this planet we have
0.32 to share this space and you have to be
0.32 part of that um at the same time I love
0.32 my Kink life and world and it&;s a very
0.32 different beast and so for me bringing
0.32 them together I see a lot of
0.32 similarities um and I see a lot of
0.32 things a lot of the learnings I&;ve
0.32 gotten out of the Kink World in how I
0.32 engage and how how I express myself and
0.32 how I carry myself in the real world for
0.32 example I believe that there is a power
0.32 Dynamic with every engagement and I&;ve
0.32 often said that the difference between
0.32 vanilla and kink uh people is that with
0.32 Kink you have an awareness that there is
0.32 this power exchange and and that in
0.32 itself is enough to be able to um
0.32 communicate better to engage in more
0.32 ethical ways and to just be a better
0.32 person on the planet that&;s brilliant
0.32 and I think that&;s a that&;s a wonderful
0.32 observation and something that I have
0.32 definitely seen as well I feel like
0.32 people in sex positive communities and
0.32 King communities when I see them when I
0.32 know them from the the Kink world or
0.32 know them from the non monogamy world
0.32 and I see them you know engaging in
0.32 these kind of vanilla conversations I
0.32 can see people respecting the the
0.32 appropriate boundaries of of power
0.32 dynamics so often I myself at parties
0.32 with our vanilla friends and I will I&;ll
0.32 notice how touchy feely some of my
0.32 female friends are and in a way that no
0.32 non- monogamous person would do that
0.32 because we&;re so aware of each other&;s
0.32 boundaries we&;re so aware of consent and
0.32 so I feel like these hands on my arm and
0.32 I&;m thinking oh this actually feels
0.32 quite uncomfortable but it&;s like you
0.32 were saying before you know because
0.32 we&;re so aware of power dynamics we&;re
0.32 so aware of consent and physical touch
0.32 and and all of these different things I
0.32 feel like if people had an an education
0.32 and an understanding around non
0.32 monogamous Concepts around Kink Concepts
0.32 around uh you know the the power
0.32 dynamics that are inherent in all these
0.32 interactions we&;d actually have a much
0.32 safer environment for everyone
0.32 100% I&;ve you know I remember I don&;t go
0.32 to sort of um nightclubs one I&;m too old
0.32 two I got to the point where I felt so
0.32 uncomfortable the way that people
0.32 treated each other the way men in
0.32 particular would approach and force in a
0.32 really predatory um touchy without
0.32 asking um like they have ownership of
0.32 you it was just really uncomfortable
0.32 whereas I can go to a kink event and
0.32 wear nothing but a pair of shoes and be
0.32 feel safe and comfortable and no one&;s
0.32 touching you people approach they&;ll
0.32 have a conversation um but it&;s
0.32 respectful I guess it&;s hard for people
0.32 to understand what that might look like
0.32 unless they&;ve been in there I&;ve often
0.32 sat in those spaces having the
0.32 conversation just about this how it&;s a
0.32 sex positive space you can see some
0.32 really interesting things um you can
0.32 engage in some interesting things but
0.32 there is a way that you go about it that
0.32 makes everyone feel comfortable and that
0.32 this no pressure on anyone to do
0.32 anything so that if you are doing
0.32 something it&;s because you genuinely
0.32 truly want to definitely I&;ve felt the
0.32 same thing absolutely being in bars I
0.32 don&;t go to bars or clubs or anything
0.32 very much and you know when we whenever
0.32 we do I I&;m the same I&;m looking around
0.32 and I&;m just thinking oh there&;s so many
0.32 red flag there that&;s not appropriate
0.32 why would he do that you know there&;s
0.32 just it&;s like a Minefield but it&;s
0.32 normalized and I&;m also feeling
0.32 extremely protective over you in those
0.32 envir and I feel like I can&;t relax
0.32 because I know that you feel
0.32 uncomfortable and I&;m just looking
0.32 around going oh all these [ __ ] just
0.32 have no have no idea you know but as you
0.32 were saying like at a kink event you can
0.32 there&;s actually an element of just
0.32 being able to relax knowing that people
0.32 have respect at the Forefront of their
0.32 minds exactly um but I was wondering so
0.32 a lot of people and a lot of men might
0.32 be listening to this conversation and
0.32 they might be thinking actually this is
0.32 kind of putting a framework to some of
0.32 the feelings or the fantasies that I
0.32 have what would be your advice to a a
0.32 man in a relationship who wants to bring
0.32 I know for for you there was an email
0.32 that came through for you but what would
0.32 be your advice for someone who might be
0.32 a you know potential cuck in the making
0.32 yeah actually that is something that I
0.32 get asked a lot it&;s probably the most
0.32 common question um that I get asked is
0.32 how do I get my wife to do
0.32 this you don&;t and and the other one is
0.32 where do we find bull friends but my
0.32 recommendation is to first of all just
0.32 really figure out for yourself is this
0.32 something that is just a fantasy that
0.32 you want to play with um a little bit
0.32 and to to enhance your uh sexual
0.32 connection or is it something you truly
0.32 want to try um and if it is then it&;s
0.32 about being open and vulnerable you know
0.32 women generally tend to be the nurturers
0.32 and they want to make their Partners
0.32 happy um they won&;t do things that they
0.32 don&;t want to do but I think I&;m very
0.32 willing and open to the
0.32 conversations what I see a lot of people
0.32 doing is coming at it with full force
0.32 going ever since I was 16 I had this you
0.32 know fantasy and I wanted do this and I
0.32 want you to go out and [ __ ] all the men
0.32 and they&;re like whoa um it&;s approach
0.32 gently um baby steps have a conversation
0.32 about how you have had thoughts that
0.32 these are things that have run through
0.32 your mind that you don&;t know what maybe
0.32 that where you want this to go but you
0.32 like to have conversations around it and
0.32 bring it in slowly gently and don&;t come
0.32 try and not come at it from
0.32 what&;s been your erotic
0.32 fantasy but think about it of how it can
0.32 be applied in your relationship stay
0.32 curious and keep the conversation open
0.32 yeah be gentle with your approach be um
0.32 uh not subtle but um open enough and
0.32 vulnerable to explain what it is that
0.32 you&;re feeling and potentially
0.32 Desiring keeping your partner safe in
0.32 regards to how you um approach it with
0.32 saying look this isn&;t something I want
0.32 you to do this isn&;t uh this is very
0.32 much about how much you want to engage
0.32 but I&;d like to have a conversation at
0.32 least this is what I&;ve been feeling
0.32 this is what I&;ve kind of wanted to
0.32 explore how does that sit with you what
0.32 have you gotten and and when you do
0.32 approach tell them that you don&;t want
0.32 an answer straight away give your
0.32 partner an opportunity to really digest
0.32 this news and have time to process this
0.32 news and come up with questions and just
0.32 give them space to do that and so when
0.32 they have um maybe you know give them
0.32 another time when we can get back
0.32 together and let&;s discuss or just I&;m
0.32 putting it out there now it&;s up to you
0.32 to get back to me when you would like to
0.32 discuss this further I think the
0.32 breadcrumbing is a really good way of
0.32 opening that dialogue too still just
0.32 providing maybe a Blog an article um a
0.32 podcast episode this podcast episode
0.32 episode we go just to start those
0.32 conversations it could be something as
0.32 simple as I had a dream last night and
0.32 you were with somebody else and I was
0.32 really aroused by that how does that
0.32 make you feel manufactur dreams I feel
0.32 like I feel like we hear those all the
0.32 time well fantasies are a dream yeah
0.32 yeah that&;s absolutely that&;s just
0.32 another word for it so for a woman who
0.32 may be interested in Co being a
0.32 cuckoldress herself you know how would
0.32 she go approaching her male partner to
0.32 introduce ideas would it be a similar
0.32 kind of method for how you described
0.32 before about how a cuckold could
0.32 approach or are there something kind of
0.32 different or slightly different in terms
0.32 of the feminine experience and then
0.32 bringing this up as a conversation uh to
0.32 your male partner it would be great if
0.32 there was more women that actually even
0.32 knew this was available to them first
0.32 well maybe after this EP episode drops
0.32 there&;ll just be all these cockle
0.32 dresses wearing all these anklets all
0.32 around female Le relationships will be
0.32 think so because there are a lot of men
0.32 it is definitely a male dominated
0.32 fantasy this one um and so I would love
0.32 that more women um had an interest in
0.32 this so if you do have an interest
0.32 probably just start with um those little
0.32 flirtatious uh comments and see how your
0.32 partner reacts to those first and
0.32 foremost but it&;s it&;s much of a matness
0.32 I&;d say the same uh sort of thing um but
0.32 there is probably uh what happens more
0.32 so is that women are approached uh by
0.32 their men whether you&;re in a new
0.32 relationship or you&;ve been together for
0.32 a long time I speak to a lot of cucks
0.32 who have not yet divulged this to their
0.32 uh wies they&;ve been together sometimes
0.32 20 25 years they&;re too scared to open
0.32 up about uh their needs and desires
0.32 because they may have said something or
0.32 mentioned something or watched a movie
0.32 or heard something and their wies made a
0.32 comment that just shows them that this
0.32 is not a conversation to be had yeah
0.32 it&;s a tough one I guess again it&;s
0.32 approaching gently um having these
0.32 conversations and maybe even asking them
0.32 what it is that they might be fearing or
0.32 what they&;re thinking or what&;s their
0.32 understanding of what you&;re putting
0.32 forward um so that you can have that
0.32 dialogue around getting a clear
0.32 understanding like myself as I said to
0.32 you earlier on in this piece was even
0.32 though I was in an open relationship um
0.32 with my partner when he approached me
0.32 with this I kind of went into this mode
0.32 of what what do you mean this doesn&;t
0.32 make sense and what are you trying to do
0.32 here just it just didn&;t
0.32 do some research don&;t go to porn to do
0.32 that research are there online
0.32 communities that people can can find
0.32 there certainly are and interestingly
0.32 enough I&;ve just started one myself oh
0.32 there we go amazing started a telegram
0.32 uh Community for um anyone who&;s
0.32 interested or living that lifestyle so
0.32 it&;s fairly new and there&;s some really
0.32 good conversations basically we&;re there
0.32 to support each other through these
0.32 kinds of conversations
0.32 um if someone&;s uh also to cheer each
0.32 other on when someone&;s about to
0.32 experience something um but it&;s been a
0.32 really interesting space um to see the
0.32 dialogue between the cucks and the Bulls
0.32 and how they interact with each other
0.32 and the respect that&;s given is been
0.32 wonderful unfortunately there&;s not many
0.32 women in there um I&;d love to have more
0.32 join um there is couple uh profiles that
0.32 come into the space um but it&;s the guys
0.32 that tend to do most of the talking um
0.32 so there&;s that one but yeah um you can
0.32 get onto fat life there&;s communities on
0.32 there you can um listen to um obviously
0.32 this podcast um but there are a couple
0.32 of other podcasts that I think are
0.32 really good cuck my life is a new one
0.32 that&;s cucks by uh for cucks I actually
0.32 for anyone uh but uh by cucks and of
0.32 course Venus cuckold&;s podcast um she
0.32 has been around for quite some time
0.32 championing um the women to get on board
0.32 um and
0.32 reprimanding um all the the bad behavior
0.32 all the bad behavior from um I guess
0.32 both the uh guys that come in thinking
0.32 that they can just be predatorial in
0.32 their approach um and also the cucks
0.32 that think they can force their Partners
0.32 into this lifestyle MH I guess they&;re
0.32 the sort of places and then there&;s a
0.32 myriad of blogs um there&;s some really
0.32 good blogs out there all you need to do
0.32 is Google it there&;s one thing that uh
0.32 before we wrap up there&;s one thing that
0.32 I&;m really interested in and that is uh
0.32 privacy MH because we we talked about
0.32 there being so much stigma around this
0.32 when you are engaging with uh bull
0.32 friends obviously there&;s a lot of trust
0.32 that&;s going kind of both ways and
0.32 especially when you start divulging
0.32 really sensitive things about your Rel
0.32 relationship and about your partner and
0.32 his identity as a cockold how do you go
0.32 about establishing that sense of trust
0.32 and respect for the privacy because of
0.32 course especially people you know with
0.32 jobs and and in different professions
0.32 some professions might be a lot more
0.32 sensitive to other professions and if
0.32 this kind of did come out then it would
0.32 be a huge problem so how do you go about
0.32 navigating those situations yeah for me
0.32 my relationship with my partner my
0.32 cookie um that&;s my sanctuary and so I
0.32 will be very careful with what I Devol
0.32 but in general I tend to not share much
0.32 with anyone about anything cuz um people
0.32 have their own stories and they&;re their
0.32 own stories to tell um I share what&;s
0.32 required as in what my schedule might be
0.32 I share um you know like my availability
0.32 or um I I won&;t go into my relationship
0.32 details that&;s nobody&;s business I guess
0.32 being in a cuck hole there is some sort
0.32 of um sharing that will happen but it&;ll
0.32 be directed by me in regards to maybe um
0.32 I might say be good to have a photo that
0.32 we could take or how would you feel
0.32 about um if we were to record a part of
0.32 our engagement or do you feel
0.32 comfortable sending um the picture
0.32 yourself to my partner or uh something
0.32 like that but I won&;t go into um his
0.32 personal life or anything that&;s going
0.32 on between us or how we live life um
0.32 obviously with boyfriends that becomes a
0.32 bit more of a blurred line um but just
0.32 purely uh bull friends casual play
0.32 friends it&;s it&;s really in the moment
0.32 sharing of
0.32 that exciting component but not more
0.32 than that privacy is still Paramount
0.32 both for us and for them I won&;t ask for
0.32 you know information about their private
0.32 lives it&;s not my business do you feel
0.32 like your cuck holding Dynamic with your
0.32 partner is very sacred to the two of you
0.32 or would you ever in the future be open
0.32 to having another [ __ ] old partner as
0.32 well I have a million question I know
0.32 we&;re getting to the end of it but I
0.32 just it is and I have been approached I
0.32 don&;t know the answer is I don&;t know
0.32 I&;m not closed off to anything we have
0.32 discussed uh
0.32 about um having some sort of Engagement
0.32 with others um maybe key holding or I
0.32 don&;t know some some interactions and
0.32 but it&;s not the same it&;s for me [ __ ]
0.32 holding is a relationship based Dynamic
0.32 if it&;s the lifestyle yes um you know
0.32 you&;ve got people that might not be in a
0.32 relationship but they want to build that
0.32 sort of level of [ __ ] angst that might
0.32 go to a sex worker dominatrix to um get
0.32 um some sort of gratification and um
0.32 play um but as a cuckle dynamic for me
0.32 um that is very much a relationship
0.32 based um Dynamic and so yes that is very
0.32 sacred to me wonder well Shai thank you
0.32 so much for coming over and having this
0.32 conversation with us it is so important
0.32 to be having these conversations and to
0.32 just be normalizing different Kinks and
0.32 I think you approach things in such a a
0.32 thoughtful and deliberate way and it&;s
0.32 wonderful to hear your perspective on
0.32 all of these things thank you I&;d like
0.32 to just say a little bit about the
0.32 normalizing component yeah I I I
0.32 struggle with that sometimes um struggle
0.32 I I think it&;s really import important
0.32 um that we do have these conversations
0.32 um I think people should be educating
0.32 themselves on what is out there and how
0.32 other people might engage but I&;m not
0.32 always for normalizing everything
0.32 totally I feel like this needs to be
0.32 tooo yeah it&;s the nature of it yeah
0.32 exactly um because it is a big part of
0.32 um that dynamic dnam in particular and
0.32 if we don&;t have that taboo then we&;re
0.32 starting to infiltrate normal society
0.32 where we have children and people that
0.32 really aren&;t um you know consenting to
0.32 being involved in these Dynamics and
0.32 that&;s where you&;re seeing people
0.32 dressed up in you know with a color and
0.32 aash in public in the shopping center
0.32 shopping center and that&;s not
0.32 appropriate that&;s not okay so when we
0.32 say normalizing I think it&;s good to
0.32 have the conversations in adult spaces
0.32 where people are seeking that
0.32 information but to force it on others is
0.32 not what we want to do and the taboo is
0.32 definitely what makes it a big fun keep
0.32 it sacred yeah exactly that&;s thank you
0.32 for making that distinction that that is
0.32 a really important distinction and maybe
0.32 a better way to phrase it I should have
0.32 said removing the stigma around these
0.32 conversations I think that&;s better
0.32 because I think what you just said is
0.32 extremely important and definitely a
0.32 very very good point to make but thank
0.32 you so much Shai for coming through
0.32 and we will I know we&;re going to
0.32 receive so many comments and questions
0.32 about this so we&;ll we&;ll definitely be
0.32 having you back on the podcast at some
0.32 point absolutely uh and to hear the
0.32 updates from all your exciting [ __ ]
0.32 holding Adventures thank you so much for
0.32 having me it&;s been fun so much fun
0.32 thanks for tuning in to the evolving
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